


Figure It Out

by lafbaeyette, PaperThinRevolutionary (SingFortissimo)



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Dr. John, Journalist Alex, M/M, Slow Burn, Unconventional Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-31
Updated: 2017-08-16
Packaged: 2018-11-07 05:05:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 26,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11051916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lafbaeyette/pseuds/lafbaeyette, https://archiveofourown.org/users/SingFortissimo/pseuds/PaperThinRevolutionary
Summary: Dr. John Laurens doesn't think much of his new neighbor's near constant visits to his bathroom to get care for his injuries. That is, until Alex gets hurt too badly for John's first aid kit. After an eventful hospital run, John finds himself in an interesting new situation.





	1. Chapter 1

Most days, after a long shift at the hospital all John wanted to do was come home and lay on the couch. Usually, he would crack open a bottle of Sam Adams and watch the news, or whatever shitty shows he had recorded through the day. Without fail, though, he would always be utterly exhausted once his days would end, and the drinks were the only surefire way he had to calm his nerves enough to be able to sleep, the only way that he could clear his mind of whatever nasty imagery the work day had to offer. 

Thankfully, this day had been much softer than the others; one or two heart attacks and some broken limbs. Thankfully, nobody had been shot. He wasn't sure he could handle that again, not for quite some time at least. For now all he had to worry about was the shit on the news and finishing his beer, defusing enough to be able to lay down and recharge before starting over again bright and early the next day. 

The hospital he currently worked for was incredibly understaffed, leaving poor Dr. Laurens running frantically from room to room and patient to patient, trying his best to serve everybody in a timely manner, trying to take care of everything without letting his own stress and discomfort shine through his smiling demeanor. Every day was destined to be overtime until the hospital found another qualified emergency room staffer to hire, and that day looked further and further away with every tick of the second hand. 

Shaking those thoughts from his already racing mind, John sipped at his beer, set it aside before he let himself relax onto the obscenely plush sofa he had recently purchased. Finally, he had settled away into a state of numbed relaxation, and he nearly went into autopilot.

That is, until there was a loud echoing knock at his door, waking him from his light stupor. 

He knit his brow and forced himself back to his feet, rubbed the sleep from his eyes and swung the door open without thinking to check out the peephole.

What he saw was not at all what he expected. 

A disheveled man, just a little shorter than him, hovered in his doorway. It took John a moment to get past the blood covering his face, hands, and shirt, before he could truly take in the gruesome disfigurement his nose had gone through. 

John winced a little and knit his brow, wanting to recoil just a bit, but nothing in his body inherently distrusted this man. 

When the stranger spoke, everything clicked into place. 

“You’re a doctor, right?”

John blinked a few times, snapping himself back to focus. “Uhm. Yeah, yes. Yes, I am. And you are?”

“Unimportant right now, could you maybe…?” A small gesture, pointing to the bloodied nose, and a sheepish grin.

“Oh, yeah. Of course. Um. Come in, bathroom’s right down the hall.” 

“Shit, thank you so much.” The man scurried in quickly, careful not to let any blood drip onto the floor. 

“Yeah, of course. So, did you actually _know_ I’m a doctor, or have you just been knocking at doors until you happened to get lucky?” John quipped, grabbing his first aid kit from the hall closet and following him into the bathroom, handing him a ratty old rag to catch the blood. Much better than his hands, at least. 

“Nah, Laf told me you were.” He said, clambering up onto the counter. “You know, the frenchman—”

“Who lives next door, right.” 

“Yeah, well, I live on the other side of him, just moved in about a week ago.” He shrugged. “He told me just about everything about everyone who lives on our floor, besides names and shit.” 

“So you’re the new guy?” John raised a brow, pulling on a pair of latex gloves and tilting Alex’s head back a bit. He winced at the sight of the flowering bruises all over his face, and the beginnings of ones that were peeking out from his much too large shirt. “Jesus, did you get hit by a train?” 

“Close enough. An angry fist, but…” The stranger trailed off, shrugged his shoulders and gave a small smile. “Same thing, I guess.”

John raised a brow and bit his lip. Whoever did this had really done a number on him. “And why, dare I ask?”

“Bar fight with some other asshole journalist.” He scoffed, brows drawing together at the memory. 

“‘Other’? So you’re an asshole journalist, too, then?” 

He laughed a little, the sound equivalent to church bells in John’s ears. “Well, yeah, I guess. The asshole part is mostly dependent on who you ask, at least.” 

“And if you were to ask me?” John chuckled. 

“I hope you wouldn’t say asshole.” The scrappy man shot back, grin growing wider. 

John laughed, shook his head. “We’ll see if I would after I see how you handle this. Inhale, please?” The stranger did as he was told. “Okay, this is gonna hurt. Exhale slowly.” 

He was reluctant to listen, but the journalist did as he was told, breathing out slowly as John set his nose back into place, quickly attaching a splint and pressing the rag against it to catch and stop the bleeding. 

The stranger let out a sharp curse, whined and held the rag instead. “Shit, you're a life saver.”

“Well, yes, that is my profession. Two question, though. Who are you? And why didn’t you go to the hospital? It’s not like it’s far away.” John stepped back, tossed the latex gloves away and washed his hands just to be safe.

The stranger seemed to mull on the second question before shrugging. “Well, uh. I’m Alexander Hamilton. Alex, actually. But I didn’t go because… I.. Well…” He trailed off, brow knit. He didn’t seem to want to admit whatever it was. John squeezed his shoulder. 

“You don’t have to say anymore. I get it. I’m happy to help out, Alex. I’m John, by the way. Laurens. Do you plan on getting your nose broken again?” 

“Maybe if it’ll let me see you again.” Alex gave a winning smile, and John felt a bit of heat rise to his cheeks. “But really, thank you. I appreciate this more than you know.” 

“Of course. Any time. But don’t take that as an invitation to get your face broken again, alright?” 

Alex gave the tiniest laugh in response to that, nodded his head and chuckled. “Hopefully I won’t get ambushed in any more bars by other assholes.” He said softly, jumping down from the bathroom counter and steadying himself on his feet again. “So, I guess I’ll see you around, then, Dr. Laurens?” 

“Oh, please. Just John. And yeah, I’ll see you around. Hopefully not all bloodied up next time, right?” John responded, though he was sure it wouldn’t be the last time that he found the other in such a position. Gut instinct went as far as to say it wouldn’t even be the last time that week. 

“No promises,” Alex responded, just as John expected. He couldn’t help but give a fond smile, shook his head and chuckled a little bit as he showed the man out. 

“Well, I wish we could have met under better circumstances,” John began, held out his hand anyway. “But it was nice to meet you regardless.”

Alex took it and gave it a firm and eager shake. “Yeah, definitely. Thanks for your help, John, Really. It means the world to me.” 

“Yeah, of course. Be safe, Alex. Goodnight.” 

“Night!” He nearly chirped, then rushed back to his room.

As John shut the door, he let out a slow exhale, paced back into the living room and fell on the couch to finish his beer. 

Jesus christ, what had he gotten himself into?


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex continues to come to John, and he can handle the injuries. For the most part.

John was right, the broken nose wasn’t the last he would see of Alex. What he had gotten himself into was an under the table medical job taking care of Alex whenever he got into fights. Or fell down the stairs. Or burnt himself, or any of the number of ways Alexander Hamilton managed to hurt himself on a daily basis. Most of them were tame, just a bit of burn cream or some antiseptic, wrap it up and send him back down the hall to rest.

“The other guy, he’s just…”

“An asshole?” John laughed, dabbing at a cut above Alex’s eyebrow. The rest of his eye was beginning to swell and purple, he had gotten a nice shiner tonight. “You’ve mentioned that.”

“The biggest.” Alex winced as John pressed against the bruising skin. “Shit.”

“Why do two journalists continuously get into physical fights?” John frowned at the cut, sighing and shaking his head. “You’re going to need some stitches there.”

“Great.” Alex leaned back as John stood up, returning to his first aid kit. He may have snagged a few more supplies from the hospital, thankfully, because he didn’t have his own suture kit. “And to answer your question, he’s a shitty journalist. And I like to point it out. Then he gets pissed, and… I’m never as great in a fight as I think. But don’t tell anyone I just said that.”

“Your secret’s safe with me.” John returned with the suture kit and went back to work on the cut over his eye. “Ever thought of going to a different bar?”

“Hell no, he’s not winning that easily.” Alex’s breath caught as John cupped his face, angling his head to see better in the dim light of the bathroom. He really needed to get a new bulb for that light, but he could think of that later.

“How would that be his win?” John tried to keep Alex talking as he stitched up the cut, hoping the conversation would distract him.

“That bar is my turf, he’s not going to intimidate me.”

“Your turf?” John chuckled. “Are you in a gang? Is there more to you that I should know?”

“You know what I mean. I’m not leaving, he can leave.”

“Or you both get kicked out for fighting.”

“Jefferson’s just an ass.”

“Jefferson? Like, Thomas? He writes for the Daily News?”

“Yeah, that Jefferson. And I write for The Post. Obviously, we don’t get along, because all he publishes are articles full of opinionated arguments with shitty, half-facts as support. He’s like the Fox News of print journalism.”

“And you’re CNN?”

“We’re The Guardian, at least.”

John laughed and finished stitching up Alex’s eyebrow. There were many more visits to come in the next eight months, and John was able to handle them. For the most part. 

There was one night, dark and rainy, that John found himself in over his head.

New York had seen nothing but rain for nearly three days straight. The emergency room was busier than usual, rain always brought accidents with it. There had been a series of crash victims, a few broken bones. By the time he got home, John was exhausted. Another long day, which was about to lead into another long night starting with several frantic knocks at his door.

“What happened this time, Al—”

Lafayette, looking absolutely overwhelmed, was holding up a very beaten looking Alex. Alex was leaning heavily against the other, eyes drooping, John wasn’t sure he was fully conscious. “What happened?”

“A fucking cycler,” Lafayette breathed, mostly carrying Alex into the apartment. “We were walking home and, mon dieu, the asshole didn’t have any reflectors—I didn’t even see him until—and he hit Alex—”

John got a towel from the bathroom, laying it over the couch before Lafayette laid Alex down. John knelt next to him, assessing his injuries. There were some scrapes, his nose was bleeding again, some obvious bruising.

“Laf,” John turned back to his worried friend. “Stethoscope, should be on my dresser. Can you grab it?”

John cupped Alex’s face, much as he had the day he put stitches above his eyebrow, and he could see the scar there. “Alex?”

Alex’s eyes barely flickered open, a groan passing his lips.

“Fuck. Alex, stay with me. Stay awake, alright?” Another groan, he barely turned his head, but his eyes remained shut. “Shit.”

Lafayette returned with the stethoscope, John quickly put it to Alex’s chest. “ _Shit._ ” He turned to Lafayette. “We need to get him to a hospital.”

“What? No, we can’t—”

“We have to.” John started to lift him, carefully. “I can’t take care of this here, Laf. It sounds like there’s fluid in his lungs, I need a CT, I need to make sure he’s okay—I can’t do that here, we have to get him to the hospital.”

“John, he can’t.”

“He _has_ to.” John ran a hand through his hair. “Look, I’m pretty certain he has broken ribs. If they move the wrong way, they puncture an organ, and he’s gone. If there’s fluid build-up in his lungs, soon enough he won’t be able to breathe—I can’t help him here. We’ll deal with everything else later, just help me.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I do not think you understand the situation that he finds himself in. If he is to do this, he could lose everything.”

Though he was incredibly reluctant to, John finally convinced Laf to actually help him, and in no time at all they were in the back of a taxi heading to the hospital. Of course, John tried his damnedest to get an ambulance, but Laf insisted that “Alex would shit himself if he found out that we called an ambulance.” When they finally settled into the back, Alex laying gently across their laps and the cabbie looking nervous about the situation, John let himself relax enough to text his coworkers and let them know they were on their way, then talk to Laf. 

“Okay, do you care to tell me what this whole issue is? Do you maybe wanna indulge me and let me know why he won’t let us help and keeps coming to my apartment instead of the hospital?” John was clearly a little irate, but he was doing his best to come back from that and remain calm. Considering the situation, he was sure that Lafayette could easily become skittish. 

Laf did, just as John suspected, close in on himself a little bit. He sucked in a breath and knit his brow. “Alright, well… Alex… He does not… He does not have medical insurance. He is much too new at the Post for them to offer him medical, and his pay is still on the lower end… He.. He cannot afford to pay for medical as well as his bills and rent. He refuses to accept any help, believe me, I have tried before, but he just… He will not allow it.” Laf’s voice cracked a little bit and he rubbed his temples. He was so worried about the other, John could tell, and he didn’t want to exacerbate that more than he would absolutely have to. 

He would absolutely have to find a way to help Alex. 

But based on Laf’s own issues with the attempt, it would be much harder than he anticipated. 

“Alright, I can… I’ll see what I can pull at the hospital. I might be able to, at the very least, buy some time, maybe pull strings and waive fees? There’s gotta be something I can do..” John knit his brow. 

Laf glanced over, clearly beginning to fret again. “Mon ami, we are lucky he isn’t conscious right now. This trip, I… I do not think you understand the situation that he finds himself in. If he is to do this, if he is to go to the hospital, these bills could literally bankrupt him. He could lose everything.” 

John had never heard Lafayette sound so small, so… So broken. He knit his brow and bit his lip. “Oh. I.. Shit…. _Shit_ , but… If he doesn’t get any help, he could literally _die_. I know this is rough, I know it’s crazy fucked up, but we need to do something about it. We need to see what we can do for him. I can find a way to help with the bills, I can find a way to help him afford it.” He said quickly, wincing when the cabbie took a corner a little too fast and shying a bit when Laf paused to shout at the man to be more careful. 

When he finally leaned back and relaxed back into the seat, fingers combing through Alex’s inky hair, he knit his brow and exhaled. “He will not let you, John. You know he won’t as much as I know he won’t, and you barely know him.” He frowned a little and huffed. “We can see what we can do, but there is absolutely no promise that he will allow us to help.” Laf knit his brow, clearly frustrated with the bullheaded tendencies of their mutual friend. 

John groaned a bit, sitting up straighter when they arrived at the hospital, pulled back around to the emergency room entrance, watching as his coworkers rushed out with a gurney. With the help of the nurses, they got themselves going and Alex down on the stretcher, groaning softly when he was shifted, but before it could inflict any more pain, they were rushing into the emergency room, John immediately at the side of the doctor on call, who he didn’t recognize until it was a little too late for him to grab a nurse instead. 

“John, I didn’t expect to see you.” The doctor raised his brow, gave a bit of a smile in attempt to calm the situation and the frantic man. 

John knit his brow and puffed up. “For Christ's sake, Francis, do you really think this is the time for small talk? This man has fluid building in his lungs, and I’m almost certain he has multiple broken ribs. Now is _not_ the time for this shit.” John snapped, almost frantic. As if the panic wasn’t bad enough before, now he would have to deal with his ex as well? God, of course. Why wouldn’t Francis Kinloch be the doctor on call? 

He shook that out of his mind, though, and went immediately back to Alex, holding his hand and squeezing a bit, whispering encouragement to the man slowly regaining his situational awareness. John couldn’t even focus on Francis when he heard Alex groan, heard him cough and saw his eyes flutter open. 

“John? John, shit, where are we?” He croaked out, tried to reach back towards him. 

“Hey, hey, shh…” He whispered gently, taking Alex’s hand in his own and squeezing gently, lowering it back down onto the gurney and trying his damnedest to keep Alex from straining his muscles in any way, an attempt to minimize any further injury that he could cause. “It’s okay, it’s okay. Please don’t worry, try not to move too much. We’re going to help, you’re going to be okay.” He assured softly. 

Alex whined softly and drew his brows together, groaned again. “Feels like I’m dying…” 

“You aren’t dying, Alexander. You absolutely are not dying. You’re going to be okay, we’re going to help you and we’re going to get you through this. You’re going to be okay, and I’m going to be right here. I promise.” John assured softly, squeezed again and knit his brow. “You’re going to be perfectly fine.” 

Alex didn’t look convinced, but he didn’t argue, too achy to try. He just let his head fall completely again, eyes flicking back and forth between Francis and John before the flickered shut again. 

John’s chest went tight, and he nearly began to pray.

It had been over a decade since he even thought that was a plausible solution, but in that moment it was the only one he could think of. 

He ignored Francis easily from that point, staying right by Alex’s side until they stopped him right outside of the O.R., made him wait out there with Lafayette. 

The younger man was frantic, panicked beyond words about the wellbeing of one of his closest friends. John was trying his damnedest to keep a calm mind, to keep himself from losing his thoughts to the panic that loomed right over his shoulders and secreted almost violently off of Lafayette. 

“He won't be able to take care of this, John. There’s no way he can do this, we will have to find something else for him. He will have to move out of his apartment. He cannot afford to take any time off of work, not for this, not for anything… He will lose his lease, he will lose his job… This is going to ruin him!”

“No, no no, Laf, please, please, breathe. Think. There has to be a way that we can help him with this, there has to be a way we can convince him to let us help out. There has to be something for us to do. Think. We could find a way to pay. We could fundraise, we could—”

Laf let out a soft, broken laugh. “He will not accept that, John! He has no insurance, he has no way to pay, and he will not take our help!” He almost snipped. “The only way that he could ever afford this is if—Is if you two got married, I don’t know!” 

And in the moment, well… 

“Okay.” 

“Okay!?”

“Okay. That’s… If that’s what I have to do,” John paused, glanced through the window of the O.R. “Then that’s what I have to do. We’ll figure it out. I’ll do it.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I know you meant well, but you really shouldn’t have brought me here, John, I--” 
> 
> “I know. Laf explained everything, but we have an idea.” 
> 
> “Oh, this should be good.”

“You know this is insane, right?” Hercules’ voice was crackling over the phone line and John sighed. “Like, part of me wants to tell you not to, but fifty bucks is fifty bucks.” 

“If you get here within the hour, I’ll make it sixty.” John offered. Hercules made another vague protest, but ultimately agreed and hung up. John shut his phone, tossing it onto one of the small tables next to him and rubbed at his eyes. 

“You’re really going to do this?” Lafayette sat down next to him. John nodded. 

“What other options do we have? I’ve got great medical insurance, and if we’re married I can put him on my plan. My insurance covers the majority, if not all, of the costs and Alex gets to keep his life. It’s flawless.” 

“Can Hercules really marry the two of you?” 

John nodded again. “We got really drunk one night and I dared him to get ordained. He’s got the paperwork and everything.” 

“There’s still one minor flaw,” Lafayette started, chewing at the corner of his lip. “Marriage is consensual. How are you going to get Alex to agree?” 

John looked up. He hadn’t even considered that. If Alex wouldn’t accept their help in any other way, how would he take this plan? He shook his head, that was something they needed to worry about later. After Alex was out of surgery and in the clear. 

“We’ll figure it out.” 

Hercules arrived about an hour later, papers in hand. 

“Sorry, I had to reprint the marriage license, but I’m here.” He clapped John on the back. “How’s the groom-to-be doing?” 

“Recovery, they think he’s going to be okay. We’re just waiting for him to wake up...” 

Just as he said it, a nurse came back out through the double doors. Lafayette bolted over to him, John and Hercules on his heels. 

“He’s awake.” 

The nurse led them back to Alex’s room. He looked even smaller in the bed, attached to multiple machines by wires, the cannula stretched beneath his nose, but he greeted them all with a weak smile. 

“Hamilton: 1, Cyclers of New York: 0.” 

The group laughed, Lafayette and John moving to either side of Alex’s bed. Lafayette took Alex’s hand, nearly crying from the sheer relief of seeing the boy smile again. Alex squeezed his hand and shot a smile to John before his eyes landed on Hercules, the unfamiliar face in the room. 

“I know I took a good knock to the head, so I’m sorry if this is short-term amnesia or something--but do I know you?” 

Hercules shook his head and John jumped in with an explanation. “Alex, this is Hercules Mulligan. He’s one of my closest friends.” 

“Nice to meet you, sorry it wasn’t under better circumstances.” Alex looked back up at John. “Why is he here?” 

“It’s actually… Part of our plan to cover the hospital bill.” 

“Right, I was trying to forget about that at least until the anesthesia wore off.” Alex sighed. “I know you meant well, but you really shouldn’t have brought me here, John, I--” 

“I know. Laf explained everything, but we have an idea.” 

“Oh, this should be good.” 

John resisted the urge to roll his eyes at Alex’s obvious dismissal already. It was a wild plan at the moment, and he could still totally reject it, but he may as well try the honesty route before he just forged Alex’s signature on the marriage certificate. 

“We have to get married.” He paused, trying to gauge a reaction from Alex’s blank face, then continued. “If we get married I can put you onto my plan, and everything will be covered. That’s why Hercules is here, he’s ordained and he can marry us right now. Give it a couple days for the paperwork to go through, and boom--you’re covered.” 

Alex still didn’t react, seeming to process it all, before he finally let out one sharp laugh. “Are you serious?” 

“Absolutely.” John didn’t laugh, didn’t even smile. “Alex, will you be my husband?” 

Alex snorted. “Yeah, _sure._ ” It was obviously sarcastic, but Hercules took it, jumping in. 

“John, do you take Alex to be your lawfully wedded husband?” 

“I do.” John said, and Alex’s eyes widened as he realized what was going on. 

“Then by the power vested within me by the state of New York and getordained.org, I now pronounce you man and husband.” Hercules declared. “You may kiss the groom. Or… Shake his hand, whatever stage in the relationship you’re at.” 

“Did you just trick me into marriage?” Alex asked, looking between John and Hercules. John shrugged. 

“You said sure.” 

Alex was silent for a long minute, before he finally started laughing. Maybe it was the last of the anesthesia, or maybe it was the entire night thus far. But he just accidentally got married after having post-cycler-accident surgery. 

“Fuck it, fine.” 

“Fine?” John furrowed his brow, confused by the sudden shift in attitude. Alex shrugged his shoulders, wincing a bit at the movement, and settled into the pillows behind him. 

“Fine. I mean, it’s just marriage--what, now we fill out some forms a little differently? I can deal with that for some health insurance and tax benefits.” He held his hand out to Hercules. “Where’s that certificate? Lemme sign it before I pass out again, I don’t know about the rest of you but getting run over by a bike has made me exhausted.” 

Hercules held out the marriage license on a clipboard along with a pen and Alex signed it. John did as well, and Hercules took it back with the promise to run it to city hall in the morning. And John and Alex were officially married. 

Yikes. 

“So I get a kiss now, right?” Alex winked at John, who snorted at him. 

“You get to rest and heal while I go talk to some people to get this all lined out.” John did reach out and take his hand, giving it a little squeeze. “Laf will keep you company, but don’t let him keep you awake. You need to rest.” 

“Anything for you, Dr. Laurens.” He turned to Lafayette as John left the room, and John could hear him exclaim in a hushed tone, “Can you believe I married a fucking _doctor_?”, before he was out of earshot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to say you're all wonderful and thank you so much for all of the positive feedback so far. <3 We're both having so much fun writing this, and we're so glad you're enjoying it!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, it definitely wasn't as bad as it could be, but they would definitely have a lot to get used to.

That night wasn’t easy, especially with Lafayette’s hovering, but Alex and John both made the best of it. Considering John’s position, he was able to pull some strings and they could stay with Alex all night, which was honestly so much better than it would have been if they were sent home. Alex was asleep for the majority of the night, thankfully, while John was pacing and Laf was fretting. It was chaos, if John was going to be honest, but at least it was mostly silent and internalized chaos.

Well, as silent as Laf could be. 

John realized early on in their friendship that when Lafayette got to be melodramatic, he was more like a dejected puppy than anything else. Overdramatic and longing sighs, pouting lips and big brown eyes that, when put together in force, were incredibly difficult to say no to. 

But in their years of friendship, John had learned how to resist the puppy-eyed glances and pouty lips. He was sure it would become more difficult if Alexander happened to share that same trait with their mutual pal, though. 

Once the morning arrived, everything became much easier. Alex was starting to come to again, and his morphine dosage was lowered substantially, which he and John were both thankful for. Laf had slipped off down to the cafe upon waking from a power nap, and John had taken the seat directly beside the hospital bed, tempted to reach out and grab Alex’s hand. John gave the smallest smile when the other blinked awake, still sleepy and somehow kittenish, then let out a soft yawn. 

“Hey. You stayed all night?” Alex smiled a little more and rubbed his eyes. 

“Well, what kind of husband would I be if I left?” John tried to joke, but he was sure his nervousness was quite clear. Alex hesitated a moment before he nodded. He almost forgot about that… 

“Husband.” Alex muttered, then rubbed the sleep from his eyes. “So I guess, uh… We should probably talk about that, hm?” He suggested softly, gave a small and nervous laugh. 

“Yeah, yeah… I guess we should. So… Um… Well, at the very least, you’re covered. All of this is, uhm.. We—you… Um.” John cleared his throat, did his best to clear his mind. “However that should be worded. Anyway. No money is owed. I spoke to my rep here and the procedures that you needed done, all the medications and the like, it’s all covered under my policy, so… At the very least, you’ve got that going for you, Mr. New Injury Every Day.” 

That did earn a laugh from Alex, a real one, and he nudged John gently. “Thank you, really, I… I don’t know how to thank you enough for that, without this, I would have—”

“You don’t need to say it if you don’t want to. Laf filled me in enough, I know it would have been grim…” He said gently and bit his lip. 

Alex settled back, seemingly relieved by that notion. He always hated talking about his issues, financial or otherwise, and just because John was his husband now, well… That didn’t make it any easier to talk about, at all. So instead he just nodded. “Well, I guess we should talk about this, then. The arrangement. If there’s gonna be one, I mean… We could get a divorce, an annulment, you know..” He trailed off, gestured vaguely with his hand. 

John shook his head. “No, no. That’s alright. I don’t mind. I mean..” He bit his lip. “It’ll work out better for both of us, in a weird way? You’ll have the insurance, I’ve got medical, dental, vision, all that good stuff, and I can put you on all of my policies—”

“—I am in dire need of new glasses.” Alex interrupted, wiggled his eyebrows and earned a laugh from John. 

“We can definitely get you a new pair of glasses. Anyway, yeah, you get those benefits, we can use this on our taxes, and I mean... If we want, we could, I don’t know, share a place? You practically live in my bathroom anyway, considering how much you get yourself hurt.” He chuckled and smiled, tone light and playful.

“Oh, shut up. And I just signed my lease a couple months ago, no way I’m bailing out of that.” Alex huffed. 

“We can look into it more if you want to, though. I’m sure we could negotiate around it, and like I said, it would cut cost for you. It might help out a bit?” He really hoped that saying shit like that wouldn’t be crossing any boundaries, but who knew, really? 

Alex, for the most part, didn’t seem bothered by any of this, though, just nodded along and shrugged. “I guess we can, yeah, I mean… Let’s talk about that more when they release me, yeah?” 

“Yeah, for sure. Um... At the very least, I can get you a copy of the key to my apartment? It’s bigger, I think, and you’re welcome there.” He shrugged a bit, jumping when Alex sat up quickly, almost knocked himself over with the speed and strange weight of the brace on his torso. 

“Oh! Oh!! Can we get a fish?” He asked, grinning brightly. 

“A… A fish?” John asked, incredulous. 

Alex just bounced a bit on the bed—how adorable—and rapidly nodded his head. “A fish! You know, a pet! It would really help make our relationship closer, raising something together!” 

“So you chose… A fish.” John furrowed his brow, tried not to laugh. 

“Well, yeah! I mean, why not?” Alex pouted. 

“Absolutely not. No fish. That’s so lame. It’s a cat or nothing.” 

The smaller man seemed to light up, absolutely beaming at that idea. “Really, you aren’t just fucking with me?” 

“I’m not just fucking with you. We can get a cat. But no fish.” John laughed when Alex jutted his hand out, grinned. 

“Shake on it and we have a deal.” 

John rolled his eyes and took his hand, shaking it firmly. The strange enthusiasm that the other man had for this was absolutely warming his heart. 

“Alright, so I guess we have a few more things we should talk about? How, uh… How much do we wanna treat this like a marriage?” Alex asked, cocking his head just a little and biting his lip. 

“I mean.. I guess we’re married for benefits? Whatever happens after that… Happens? But as far as I’m concerned, we’re just… Married. Just friends with tax benefits?” John shrugged. 

“Friends with benefits without the fun, huh? So I can’t kiss my cute doctor husband?” Alex grinned and nudged him a bit. 

John felt his cheeks flush a little bit, and he shrugged just slightly. “I mean…” He just trailed off, let Alex make of that whatever he wanted to. 

“Yeah. Yeah, alright. We’ll just… Play it all by ear. As long as this won’t like… Keep you from being able to treat me when I fuck myself up, right?” 

“Oh, yeah, no. Definitely not. It might actually make it easier.” He chuckled and shrugged. “But yeah, I’ll make a key to my apartment for you, feel free to make yourself at home, I guess? We can keep the cat at my place?”

“Yeah, yeah. That sounds fine. Okay, cool. Yeah.” Alex smiled and nodded. “So.. I guess we can see what’s going on whenever they let me leave this place.” He chuckled. 

“That sounds great, yeah. Just.. Just rest for now, okay? You still need it. I don’t want you to exacerbate your wounds at all, broken ribs aren’t easy to heal. Especially not if you don’t take the chance to rest as often as possible.”

“I can promise this will be the _only_ time you see me relaxing.” Alex quipped, grinned stupidly. 

“Well, I’ll make sure you rest. Even if I have to tie you down.” 

“Ooh, I seriously didn’t expect that you’d end up being one of the kinky ones, Dr. Laurens.” 

John’s cheeks flushed, and he snorted out a laugh. 

Well, it definitely wasn't as bad as it could be, but they would definitely have a lot to get used to.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex was in the hospital longer than he would have liked. 
> 
> Thanks to his ribs healing, and Lafayette assuring John that Alex wasn’t exaggerating when he said he never relaxed, he was there for nearly two weeks.

Alex was in the hospital longer than he would have liked. 

Thanks to his ribs healing, and Lafayette assuring John that Alex wasn’t exaggerating when he said he never relaxed, he was there for nearly two weeks. Just to make sure everything was going to be okay. 

He had called his work and told them what happened, thankful that he was given permission to work from home until he was cleared by a doctor. That doctor was going to be John, and John wasn’t going to give Alex a clean bill of health until he was confident that Alex wouldn’t make his injuries any worse. That would take some convincing. 

“Doesn’t it cost more the longer I’m in here?” Alex huffed, pushing his laptop away and rubbing at his eyes. 

“Maybe I can get an optometrist in here so we can get a jump on those new glasses.” John took a bite of his sandwich, a mediocre hospital cafeteria sub he had decided on for lunch. He had taken to spending lunch in Alex’s room, as well as any other downtime he may see. He checked in on him at least three times a day, if not more. Alex had seen John more than the nurses that were actually supposed to be keeping tabs on him. 

“No, that’s fine, glasses can wait. I just…” Alex shifted, wincing at the pain in his ribs, which made John drop his food and jump to his side. Alex waved him off. “I’m fine, I’m fine. I’m just getting stir crazy in here. And I don’t want to--”

“Don’t worry about the money.” John interrupted. “I’m serious, everything’s covered. Just focus on getting better.” 

“You’re using your doctor pull to keep me in here longer, aren’t you?” 

“I’m using my knowledge of you as a patient, as well as my best judgment as a doctor, to keep you in here until I believe you can safely go home.” 

Alex sighed. “So, is this our honeymoon? Two weeks away from home, you keep bringing me sweets. The only thing we’re missing is consummating the marriage.” 

John flushed at the end of Alex’s sentence, letting out a strangled laugh. “Not sure we can do that, this is my place of work.” 

Alex exaggeratedly snapped his fingers. He moved his laptop onto the table by his bed and pulled the blankets to the side. 

“I need to shower. Does your doctor judgment believe I can do that?” 

“Carefully.” 

John reached out to help Alex stand and make his way to the bathroom. He finished his lunch in the chair next to his bed, telling himself that it was really just because he needed a break from the hustle and bustle of the hospital, and a private room is the perfect place. It may have also been to make sure Alex didn’t somehow hurt himself in the shower or need him. 

“Don’t you have a job to do?” 

John went back to his other patients, the emergency room getting busier as the day went on. 

After two weeks, Alex was given the okay to return home. He was wheeled out in a wheelchair with a ‘Just Married’ sign hanging from either arm rest, crafted by Lafayette. Thankfully, John had talked him out of attaching anything more. Including the urine sample cups he had somehow stolen from a nurses station, insisting that Alex needed something to draw attention to his new marital status, “Like the tin cans they attach to cars in the movies.” 

Despite losing the urine cup battle, Lafayette took him home and hovered over him for the majority of the day, and John joined him as soon as his shift was over. 

“I have a gift for you.” John held a small blue box out to Alex, who took it, curious. 

“Shouldn’t I be giving you gifts after all you’ve done?” He pulled the top of the box off, finding a small silver house key and a tiny slip of paper. He pulled the paper out to read it; a handwritten ‘coupon’. One Trip to Adopt A Cat W/ John. 

“It’s not so much a gift as the two things I promised, a key to my apartment and a cat. Well, I figured we should pick out the cat together. Whenever you’re up for the trip.” 

Alex’s eyes were bright, a wide smile splitting across his face, and maybe it was the pain medicine messing with his emotions, but he felt tears welling in his eyes. He sat the box off to the side and looked up at John. 

“Can we go now?”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex wanted all of them, and he wouldn't hesitate to stare at one as long as he could and damn near map out the potentials of their life if they chose that particular cat.

Searching for a cat, turns out, was not the easiest. Through this experience, John and Alex both learned that they were somewhat bleeding hearts, and that they would not get out of this situation without at least a little bit of chaos. 

See, John had this issue where he wanted to care for every living thing. When he settled on med school, he was heartbroken that he couldn't double up and be a vet tech, too. The same would have happened if he had studied to be a vet, too. He just wanted to help _everything_. Literally everything. 

Alexander, on the other hand, apparently just had a thing for cats. He wanted all of them, and he wouldn't hesitate to stare at one as long as he could and damn near map out the potentials of their life if they chose that particular cat. 

And he did this, with:

Every. 

Single. 

Cat. 

The process was endearing, sure, and John was enthused that the other was so eager to do this, wanted so badly to get this right and choose the right cat. It was fun to listen to some of his rambles, the tidbits of story he got based just on the snippets written about the cats and looking at them for a few moments. John's personal favorites thus far had to be between “You seem like the type to pee under the couch and pretend you didn't,” and “I have a feeling you like to eat couch stuffing.” 

After about an hour of John listening to the low mumbles of Alex’s In Depth Cat Analysis™ and playing with a few cats himself, John heard Alex gasp.

Thinking the other had hurt himself again, he whipped around in a flurry, only to find Alex with his face as close to the cage as it could get, and a tiny little paw on his nose. 

“John, I found our cat!” Alex whisper-shouted, not wanting to startle the little baby. Before the moment could end, John snapped a photo and sent it to Laf. His heart swelled a little at the sight, but he shook that away to deal with at a later time as he moved closer to the man. “Look at her, she's perfect!” 

And that she was. She didn’t look too old, and her little kitty bio read that she was already litter box trained. Boy, wasn’t that a joy? She had the prettiest little green eyes, and a soft grey tabby coat with a white chin and belly, long and pristine fur. John’s only complaint was… “Millicent?” 

“No, the name has to go. But I love her. She’s our cat. She’s the only one who kept eye contact with me. And she’s been purring this whole time, and just… Just look at her cute little face, John! She’s an angel!” 

Soon, the two were in the adoption room, Not-To-Be-Named-Millicent curled up and purring on John's lap as Alex filled out the paperwork. Okay, Alex had definitely picked a winning cat. John scratched behind her little ears and she purred louder, rolling just slightly to expose her fuzzy little belly up at them. John could have cried. 

What a perfect cat. 

The journey home was interesting. John called them a cab because he didn't want Alex overexerting himself still, and Alex _insisted_ that Not-To-Be-Named-Millicent didn't need a box, instead opting for a harness and leash and keeping the sleepy baby in his lap until they got home. 

Then, the real fun began. 

“No, we aren't naming the cat after you, Alex. If you want to do that, we may as well name her Ego.” John scoffed, starting to set up her food and water dishes in the kitchen as he contemplated placement of the litter box. 

“I think Ego is cute too. But parents do it all the time, you know? Name their kids after them. So why can't we name her Alexis!” 

“Because Alexis is a stupid name for a cat!” Not-To-Be-Named-Millicent meowed and looked between them, John taking it as an agreement. “Thank you!” 

“Then what would you say, huh, Mr. I Have Perfect Cat Names?” Alex shot back, leaning back against the couch and raising a brow. 

John froze for a second and knit his brow. Good question. “I don't know… Esther?” 

“Talk about old women names, you're gonna bitch about Millicent then suggest Esther?” 

“Oh shut up.” John rolled his eyes and placed the litter box down in the bathroom, came back out and fell onto the couch, soon joined by Alex and Not-To-Be-Named-Millicent-Or-Esther. He grabbed the remote and flipped through the channels, finally settling on an animated film, relaxing into the plush sofa as the cat kneaded at his leg. He could get used to this. 

The argument ended when Alex recognized the film. “Oh, man. I love Home. It's such a good movie.” He said softly, smiled and settled comfortably just a little too close to John for just friendship. Of course, he was quick to right this by reaching over to pet the cat. 

Speaking of cats, the cat in the film had just settled himself onto Oh’s head and began to purr, earning a soft laugh from Alex. 

“We could name her Pig.” 

“Pig? I'm not naming her just… Pig. That seems rude.” 

“Well, what about… are you a fan of Harry Potter?” Alex offered, to which John nodded. “What about Pigwidgeon?” 

A moment of contemplation before a nod. “Pigwidgeon Laurens-Hamilton.” John said softly, grinned. “I do like that…” He hummed as he contemplated all of her nicknames. 

“And hey, she can still be named after me, too. Pigwidgeon, Pig, Ham….” Alex suggested with a goofy, lopsided smile. 

John nearly fell off the couch laughing. “Oh fuck off. Absolutely not!”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While he was still technically on bed rest, Alex spent the day in John’s apartment keeping Pig company.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> an early update because i'm going on vacation tomorrow, enjoy!

While he was still technically on bed rest, Alex spent the day in John’s apartment keeping Pig company. The cat would curl up on his lap as he worked on his laptop, one hand absently scratching behind her ears or petting her back. Most nights, John would come home and find Alex on the couch with the cat nestled on his chest, sometimes asleep, most of the time dozing just between wake and sleep. 

“Sorry,” Alex held Pig in place as he sat up, struggling a little thanks to the brace still around his chest, and rubbed her back as she stirred before handing her off to John who was standing by the arm of the couch. “I ca--um, I didn’t mean to fall asleep.” 

Alex never meant to fall asleep, but John always felt a little relieved when he found Alex sleeping. It meant he was getting rest, first of all, and something about him feeling comfortable enough to fall asleep in John’s apartment made John’s heart swell. He took Pig from Alex’s hands, letting her climb up his shoulder and curl up just below his ear. Her fur tickled his neck, and it was perfect. 

“It’s okay, I told you to make yourself at home.” This was how most nights went. John would come home, find Alex, and Alex would apologize and go back to his apartment. “You know, you can stay, right?” 

“I’d hate to impose…” 

“If I’m telling you to stay, you’re not imposing.” John sat down next to Alex, holding Pig up to him. “Pig misses you at night.” 

“If you wanted me to stay, you just had to ask,” Alex said, his voice teasing. “You didn’t have to use the cat against me.” 

“I have an extra room.” John stood again, gesturing for Alex and Pig to follow him. “Guest room, just down the hall on the left. You’re more than welcome to sleep there. At any point in the future.” 

“Thank you.” 

If he were being honest, John was more than happy to let Alex stay over. His apartment was big, and most of the time empty, but since Alex started spending time there it felt… Better. The couch was warm when John sat down, there were a few dishes in the sink that weren’t from his breakfast, and Alex’s jacket hanging on a chair and shoes by the door. It felt more lived in with Alex around than it had since John moved in. 

The first weekend after Alex got released was… Interesting. John woke up to find Alex hunched at his small kitchen table, Pig stretched out across his shoulders, her little face poking out from his long hair, which obscured the rest of her body. 

He had nearly forgotten that Alex was there, and felt a little embarrassed that he hadn’t bothered to put himself together a little more before he came out of his room. He was still in his pajamas, a pair of sleep pants and a loose t-shirt, and was suffering from a bad case of bed head. 

“I made coffee,” Alex said without looking up. “I hope that’s okay.” 

“Of course.” John reached for the pot and poured himself a cup. “What’s mine is yours, that’s, like, one of the rules of marriage, right?” 

“I keep forgetting that’s a thing.” Alex murmured, finally looking up from his screen and taking in the sleepy John that sat across the table from him. 

John rubbed at his eyes and Alex smiled softly, he was adorable, then continued talking to avoid any further thinking about how adorable John was. “Like, not really forgetting. It’s, like, I know in the back of my mind that we’re married, but every time it’s mentioned or I actively think about it’s like, ‘whoa, shit, I’m married’, you know? No offense, or anything. If I had to impulsively marry someone for their health insurance, I’m glad it was you. I could’ve had a worse doctor husband, like… like that other doctor that came in to check on me. I guess, the one that operated on me? Kinloch?” 

John snorted. “Yeah, that would’ve been a trip.” 

It felt like there was something behind those words, but Alex didn’t push it. Instead he shut his laptop and leaned onto his elbows, hands wrapped around his half full mug of coffee. “So, do you have any plans today?” 

“Not really?” 

“We should take Pigwidgeon to the park.” 

John furrowed his brow. “You know she’s a cat, right?” 

“She’s a kitten, and I think she would really enjoy going and playing in the park.” 

It really didn’t take that much to convince John that Pig needed to be taken to the park, by lunchtime they had her back on her leash and harness and were headed to the park closest to their apartment building. It wasn’t that big, there was some playground equipment in the back corner--a couple of slides and a swing set--and some picnic tables scattered throughout the grass and trees. 

Alex sat down at a table, sitting Pig on the ground and letting her sniff around. He wanted to sit in the grass with her, but he decided to lean back against the table since the brace kept him from bending his midsection too much. 

John did settle down in the grass at his feet, waving around one of the many toys they had bought for Pig and playing with her. Alex watched, a smile on his face at the sight of John laughing and their cat jumping and swiping for the toy. The sun was out, there was a light breeze, it was honestly the perfect day. 

“You look happy.” John slipped onto the bench across from him, lifting Pig up as well. She sniffed the table for a minute before prancing across the wood and nudging Alex’s hand with her nose. He grinned, petting her head then looking at John. 

“It’s a nice day, I have good company. Should I not be?” 

“No, it’s just…” John trailed off, having to look away from the near-blinding grin over Alex’s face. “It’s a good look on you. Better than a broken nose or black eye.” 

“Is it the chest brace?” Alex asked, leaning back to model it. “I wasn’t sure about it at first, but I really think I pull it off.” John started laughing, which made Alex start laughing. 

Pigwidgeon moved between the two, sitting on the table and licking at her paw. She let out one small meow, wearing the cat-equivalent to a smile of her own.


	9. Chapter 9

A couple more weeks had passed, and everything was better than John could even fathom. Alex spent more time over in John’s apartment, and it almost felt like the marriage was… Well… _Real_. 

Ah, if only. 

Every bit of loneliness that John felt in the past, everything that went wrong in his life, well… None of it seemed to matter anymore. None of it was relevant now that he had Alex and Pigwidgeon by his side whenever he was home. About a week before that point, the hospital had hired another ER doctor, and John finally had more time to himself. 

More time to this unconventional little family that he had started to build. 

Over the past few weeks, John had noticed one thing that _really_ stood out to him, one that he couldn’t help but question. 

He had gotten home early from work, the new doctor eager to take over and relieve him from his shift, meaning he was awake enough to cook dinner when he got back. Alex had yet to return from his shift, probably staying late again, but John had received a text just before he left, _”I’ll be home around 6:30. Almost done with this article. Want me to bring dinner?”_

 

John wasn’t sure which part of this he liked the most, the pure domesticity of it, the fact that Alex cared enough to let him know, or the fact that his apartment was slowly but surely becoming home. 

He felt his heart swell for a short minute before it damn near deflated. There it was again, that unmistakable tug in his chest of _you’re developing feelings!_ followed immediately by that crushing realization of _this marriage isn’t real!_

Stupid fucking brain. 

He shook the thoughts aside and tapped out a quick response. _“See you soon, I have dinner covered. Don’t worry about it.”_

John left his phone in the living room, charging on the arm of the couch while he started to go prepare for dinner. He tied his mess of curls back into a tight bun, then crouched down to grab a few pots and pans from the lower cabinets. He was quickly met with the sensation of little claws pricking through his tank top and climbing up his back, then soon enough Pig had draped herself over his shoulders, stretched as long as she could, so she could watch him cook and doze. This had become an interesting routine, but John wasn’t about to complain about it. 

Really, when he thought about it, Pig was the reason the marriage started to feel whole. 

Again, though, not the time. He shook those thoughts from his mind, focused himself entirely on the preparation of their meal and the steady rumble of the kitten’s purrs against his shoulders. It was all just so… Domestic. That usually wasn’t his style, and it sure as shit wasn’t anything he thought he would settle into, not so early in his life, but here he was. 

And _damn_ was it great. 

By the time their dinner was nearly finished, John could hear a fumbling at the door before it was opened a little too roughly. A telltale sign of Alex bringing his work home. Arms overloaded with files, papers, his laptop, and probably an empty coffee tumbler or two. 

“Honey, I’m home!” He called, voice dripping with playful sarcasm as it usually did. John couldn’t help but smile, shake his head fondly. He crouched down so Pig could let herself off of his shoulders, scurry off into the living room and clamber onto the back of the couch to properly greet her other daddy with loud purrs and a cute little meow or two. 

John peeked out just in time to see Alex bow his head, rub his nose against Pig’s and coo hello to the baby, then he slipped off into what had definitely become his office. A few moments passed while Alex deposited his stuff, changed into a baggy t-shirt (John was certain it was his, Alex had developed a strange habit of stealing John’s pajamas) and a ratty pair of sweatpants, hair pulled back into a much messier bun than John’s own.

God, that was cuter than it had any right to be. 

_Cut it out, Laurens. Don’t overthink this._

He shook his head a little bit, quickly finished making dinner and setting two made plates on the table, then refilled Pig’s bowl for dinner. “Soup’s on.” He called to Alex, pouring them each a glass of rosé to go with their meals. Alex gave a thankful hum and slipped back into the kitchen, cradling the kitten in his arms until he sat and let her run off to her own meal. 

“Christ. This looks amazing, John. Thank you.” He grinned, raising his wine glass in a playful toast. 

John chuckled and clinked their glasses together. “Thanks, Alex. I never have time to cook anymore, thank god they let me leave early today. Hopefully it’s as good as it looks?” He chuckled and hummed, sipping his wine and waiting for Alex to take a bite. 

The wait wasn’t long, and the noise that Alex made was positively _sinful_. 

“John, shit, you should have been a chef. This is fucking spectacular.” He praised, mouth stuffed full. 

John rolled his eyes and laughed, cheeks still hot from that noise. Goddamn overactive imagination. “Well, you know… The medical field definitely pays better. And we want our kitten to live in the lap of luxury, don’t we?” He chuckled and glanced to the kitten, who took a moment to glance back up and purr before going back to her own meal. 

Alex chuckled and nodded his head. “Right, right. For sure. Hopefully they let you off earlier more often. We can’t let this skill go to waste.” John rolled his eyes and kept eating his own meal, ignoring the flush in his cheeks and the sparkle in Alex’s eye. 

He was on the verge of treading some dangerous territory, he wasn’t quite sure what to do with these feelings as they developed, but… 

He supposed there could be worse things than falling in love with his husband, right? 

As much as he didn’t want his mind to go there, he couldn’t help it for the rest of the evening as they cleaned up dinner, got ready for bed and went to their respective rooms. He couldn’t keep himself from wondering, what _if_ their marriage was real? What if they got it to that point, what if Alex felt the same? 

And god, if that wasn’t a beautiful thought.


	10. Chapter 10

Alex was finally released from his chest brace after another week, ribs healed and full mobility returned. He was mostly just thankful that he could slouch again, his lower back was suffering from all that good posture he was forced into. More surprising than how much a cycling accident had managed to change his life for the better, he had actually gotten out of work earlier than John for once, and he had _plans_. 

He greeted Pig as he came through the door, picking her up and letting her nestle onto his shoulder. She did love perching on their shoulders, Alex liked to believe that she just wanted to be tall and see the same world that they saw. 

“We’re going to surprise your daddy tonight, doesn’t that sound fun?” Alex said to the cat, who let out a soft meow before nosing along his hairline and switching to his other shoulder. Apparently that one had the better view. “Exactly. Now, the question is, what are we going to do?” 

John had done more than he ever needed to do for Alex, from literally saving his life, and his financial standing, to basically insisting that he move in and adopting a cat with him. He deserved more than a thank you, Alex wasn’t even sure how to thank him. But he would try, maybe by making him dinner this time.

“I’m definitely not up to the same caliber as John in the kitchen,” Alex explained to Pig as she continued to purr. “But I can give it a go. What do you think he would like? Beef? Pork, chicken? Mmm.” Alex chuckled at his own reference, glancing at Pig from the corner of his eye. “You don’t know it, because you’re a cat, but that was a brilliant _Mulan_ reference.” 

Pig mewed and Alex set to figuring out dinner, but continued to chat her up. 

“You know, I really didn’t think I’d be married this young. Granted, I guess no one sees a marriage like this coming. Don’t get me wrong, I have no complaints with John, he’s done more for me than I could ever possibly pay back.” He felt Pig’s claws poke through his shirt as he leaned down, quickly apologizing and letting her settle back down, then moving more carefully. 

Maybe he had one complaint. It wasn’t real, not really. It was just a convenient arrangement. 

At first, Alex was okay with that. It meant he wasn’t really tied down, he could still see people if he wanted to. He had gotten the other doctor’s number when he went in for a checkup before removing his brace, though he hadn’t done anything yet. But he _could_ , he just wasn’t exactly sure he wanted to. John was cute, and if he were being honest he’d had a crush on him since that first visit when he came in with a broken nose. And John had proven to be an amazing guy, who would literally marry someone just to help them. He was smart, funny, charming. He checked all of the boxes on Alex’s list for the Perfect Guy. 

Sometimes Alex would allow himself the fantasy, what life would be like if he and John were actually in love. John had texted him earlier to let him know that he would be staying late, not too late but later than he expected. If they were actually in love, that spark of disappointment he felt would have been understandable, even expected. Instead, it was confusing, because why was he upset about it? John often came home late, but it wasn’t like he owed Alex an explanation. 

He appreciated the text, though. That John was at work and thought of him, thought to inform him that he would be home late so Alex wouldn’t… worry? Would he have worried? 

He wasn’t sure. 

One thing he was sure about was the smell of something burning coming from the stove, where he had just left a medley of veggies to sauté. And completely forgotten about them. 

“Shit.” He spun around to the stove, finding burnt green beans and broccoli. He tried to save them, but smoke billowed into his face. He shut off the burner and moved the pan. Well, the veggies were out. “It’s okay, though. We can still save this.” 

He sat Pig on the ground, it was safer for her there as he worked frantically to pull this meal together. She skirted around his feet, watching him with wide, curious eyes as he moved through the kitchen. He grew more and more frantic as the time ticked by and he realized he had no idea what he was doing. He would start to do one thing, get distracted at the idea of another, and find the first thing burnt or ruined by the time he remembered it. 

His mind was running too quickly, he was trying to remember too many parts and complete them all at once. 

By the time John came through the door, the air was full of smoke, several windows were open, and Pig was sitting on the back of the couch to greet him. Alex was nowhere in sight. 

“Where’s Alex?” He asked Pig, scratching behind her ears, and growing more concerned as he took in the state of the things. He could see a pot just outside of the kitchen, on its side with some type of sauce spilling onto the ground.

John walked carefully into the kitchen and it looked like a storm had gone through. Pots, pans, and bowls littered the stove and counter space, various ingredients lying around, varying states of cooked--mostly burnt. And in the eye of the storm was Alex. 

Alex, defeated, broken, and discouraged, sat in the middle of the kitchen floor staring down at a pan of burnt chicken. With tears in his eyes. Everything that possibly could have gone wrong did. 

“Alex?” John’s voice was gentle. He knelt down in front of the man, putting a hand on his shoulder. “What happened?” Alex didn’t respond, and when he didn’t even look up John cupped his chin and tilted his head to look at him. “Alexander? Are you alright?” 

“I can’t cook.” His voice cracked and he took in a deep breath, leaning out of John’s touch and wiping at his eyes. “I--I wanted to cook you dinner, to say thank you, because you deserve _something_ after everything you’ve done for me. But I can’t even do something as simple as that.” 

John looked around at the mess, at the burnt chicken and vegetables, at the spilled sauce. It looked like a valiant effort. And he told Alex just that, as well as, “But you don’t have to do anything for me? I mean, I appreciate even just the thought, but don’t feel like you have to.” 

“I wanted to. I’m sorry.” Alex frowned. “All I made you was a mess. And wasted your food.” 

“That’s okay.” John stood up, offering a hand to help Alex up as well. “I was already planning to order food when I got home, so there are no losses.” 

“Even if I can’t say it with delicious food, thank you. For everything you’ve done so far, and probably will do in the future.” 

“Of course.” John gave him a soft smile and Alex’s heart lept into his throat, and fell into his stomach seconds later when John’s lips brushed his forehead. It was a moment, a moment that passed much too quickly, because in the next John was nudging his shoulder. 

“Go get yourself washed up, I’ll order dinner and we’ll… Come back to this later.” He gestured to the kitchen, then led Alex out. “Sound good?” 

“Sounds great.” Alex turned on his heel, toward the bathroom, face warm and stomach woozy just from John… kissing his forehead? 

Maybe falling for his husband wasn’t that bad. Until he remembered that they had stated clearly, this was just a marriage for the benefits. Shit, he needed to do something.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John had to summon every last drop of his courage for this, but soon, he did it. He managed to bring himself together enough to grab Alex’s attention, clear his throat, and…

John had to summon every last drop of his courage for this, but soon, he did it. He managed to bring himself together enough to grab Alex’s attention, clear his throat, and… 

“I.. Can we talk about all of this?” He asked softly and knit his brow. 

He heard Alex’s voice hitch in his throat, eyes getting a little big before he choked, nodded. “Oh. Oh, um. Yeah, alright.” He said, soft and obviously a little bit scared by whatever could be coming next. He cleared his throat, sat up straighter at the kitchen table and rubbed the back of his neck. 

John took his seat across from Alex, Pig soon making her way right into John’s lap and curling up, purring softly. The gentle sound filling the kitchen really did make it a lot easier to settle into the conversation. He bit his lip, sucked in a slow breath and smiled. “So, I… Well… I was thinking, about this.. And--”

“--I understand if you want to annul the marriage.” Alex interrupted immediately, voice small and strangely broken sounding. 

Well, not so much strangely, John thought. It actually put his mind at ease, that just meant that he probably felt the same… 

“No, no. I don’t, I... I was actually hoping you would maybe want to… Um…” Here it is, Laurens. Here it is. “Not necessarily close the marriage, but... But maybe start treating it more as it actually is?” 

“What, like… Dating?” Alex asked, almost incredulous. 

John flinched back just a little bit at the tone, knit his brow and hoped that the tone wasn’t as harsh as it seemed. “I... Yes..?” He bit his lip and drew his brow together. 

Alex immediately softened, jaw dropping just slightly. “Oh, you--... You wanted to… Really? With _me_?” The tone wasn’t smarmy, wasn’t as cold as John expected. It was actually, if anything, self deprecating. 

“Of course, Alex. I… We can leave it open, if you want, I don’t mind, but… I don’t know if our feelings are mutual, but I would love to actually... Give this a shot, you know? I’ve never felt this happy before, I’ve never… Never really experienced anything like this in a relationship, real or not.” John started to fidget with his hands, until Pig put her paw on his thumb and meowed, earning a tiny laugh from John. She was brilliant when it came to lightening the mood, and he couldn’t even begin to explain how grateful he was to have the kitten in his life, as well as having… 

He glanced up at Alex and bit his lip, a hopeful gleam in his eyes. “So.. What do you say?” He asked softly. 

“I… Yeah. Yes, I’d… I’d love to try that.” Alex said softly, eyes sparkling, even though there was a heavy hint of doubt in his voice. 

John was glowing, elected to ignore the unsure tone he heard for the time being. 

~~

 

That glowing feeling didn’t last forever though. Since this was his one day off of work, John had planned everything out for the entire day, from grocery shopping and cleaning the apartment to getting coffee with Lafayette. The domestic aspects completed for the day, John was finally able to settle at the cute little coffee shop with his absurdly sweet white chocolate caramel mocha, snuggled down into the plush couch when Laf approached with his own drink, so much sweeter than John’s own that he didn’t even want to question what may have been in it. 

“Good to see you, mon ami.” John hummed to the other and smiled, patting the cushion beside him and grinning when his friend took the seat, sunk down into it and stretched out, setting his coffee aside before putting his head in John’s lap, smiling up to him sweetly. 

“I am glad you finally have some time off work to rest,” Laf yawned a little, nearly purring. Really, his friend was just an oversized cat, the more John thought about it. He chuckled and combed his fingers absently through Laf’s curls, earning a cheeky smile. “How have you been? How is everything?” 

“It’s... It’s pretty good. I’m happy. Alex and I were talking earlier--” 

“Talking? Has he decided to end the arrangement? I have become a notary in my spare time so that I could help out with that.” Laf offered. He knew Alex well enough by then to know how flitty he was, how likely he could be to just... Run. 

John felt his chest get tighter, but he shook his head. “No, no. He didn’t.. He.. He doesn’t seem like he wants to, either. We’re good. We’re… We’re happy. We actually… We’re going to try it out. For real.” 

“Oh?” Laf sat up straight and turned to look at him, head cocked. “That is wonderful, John. But I feel like I must warn you, he is.. He is a bit of a tomcat. It is difficult to hold Alex down or in one place. He does really seem to be interested in you, but I want you to be aware, and to be careful…” He said softly. 

“Right, yeah. Of course. Thanks, Laf.” John said, forced a smile. 

The rest of the afternoon was spent with a bitter taste lingering in his mouth, and an anxious, dark feeling in the pit of his stomach. He hoped Laf’s warning would be incorrect…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the delay; yesterday was hectic. i'll be more on top of it, promise. 
> 
> until next time,   
> -krys


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It seemed that Lafayette was wrong, because the following few weeks were great.

It seemed that Lafayette was wrong, because the following few weeks were great. Not much had changed really, except now when they would pass Pig off their hands would brush and linger. Or while they were watching Netflix late at night, Alex would rest his head on John’s shoulder or lace their fingers together. 

One big change was kissing. John would kiss Alex’s cheek when he got home, Alex would kiss John’s forehead before bed. Lips would brush hands, shoulders, noses, foreheads. John thrilled with each one, every time. 

He decided it was time to teach Alex to cook, one night when they found themselves home together and hungry. He gave Alex instructions, which were followed through to perfection, and together they made one of the best meals either had eaten. Alex, high on the accomplished feeling and slightly tipsy from the wine, grabbed John’s hand and pulled him out of his chair after the meal. 

“Let’s dance.” Alex said, wrapping an arm around John’s waist, pulling him closer. John laughed but let Alex guide him slowly through their small kitchen, swaying to the light dinner playlist John had put on when they started cooking. John Legend was crooning in the background, and John was pressed against Alex from the chest down. Alex was just slightly shorter than him, John hadn’t realized until that moment, looking down and seeing how relaxed Alex’s face was. His body moved fluidly, despite John’s own stiff movements. 

Alex glanced up, cheeks growing pink at the realization that John had been staring at him. “What?” 

Instead of an answer, John leaned down and kissed him. Alex kissed him back, pulling him closer. 

So, kissing had changed. And John was falling harder and faster for Alex than he had originally thought. 

~~

“I want to take you out.” 

Alex looked up from his laptop screen, eyebrows scrunched. His concentrating face. “What?” 

“We both have the night off, we should go out. You know, to dinner.” 

“Like, a date?” 

John frowned, Alex’s tone making him suddenly unsure of his idea. “Uhm, yes?” 

“Sure.” Alex shut his laptop and stood. 

“If you don’t… want--we don’t--” 

Alex stopped him, putting a hand on his shoulder. “‘Course I want to. I’ll go get ready.” He disappeared into the guest room, where he still kept most of his clothes. He had pretty much moved in at this point, and John got that light, tingly feeling in his chest at the thought that maybe this would be real soon. 

John took him to a nice restaurant, one of those restaurants that had cloth napkins and didn’t even serve bread before the meal because it was so nice. They even dressed up, nice shirts and pants with no holes or questionable stains. 

“This is a reservation kind of place,” Alex noted, watching John suspiciously. “You didn't just decide this.”

“No,” John admitted. He reached out, took Alex's hand with a smile on his face. “It may have been planned. Surprise.” 

It was different, going on a date with John. It really made the change in their relationship clear, which made a knot in Alex’s stomach. He squeezed John’s hand, let go to glance over the menu, the prices seeming higher than anything he'd ever seen. He was instructed to order whatever, John would take care of it. 

“There are perks to marrying a doctor.” It was said with a wink, but all Alex could do was force a smile and stare at the numbers. He ordered the same thing as John, let the waiter take his menu, and tried to get his nerves to rest. 

“Are you alright?” Of course John had noticed, because John noticed everything. His hand was on the table, turned up. Alex could easily slip his own into it, feel the warm skin, soft in some places but rough with callouses in others, from a past that Alex still didn't know about. 

“I just didn't expect this.” It wasn't a complete lie, the whole thing had taken him by surprise. John started to pull his hand back, retreating into himself, and Alex didn't like that look on his face. “But it's nice. It's… this is really nice. Of you. To do.” 

“You deserved something nice.” John shrugged, took a sip of his water, mostly just to do something with his hands. “You… You're one of the better things, to happen in my life. I wanted to treat you.”

“You've literally been treating me for months.” It came off as a joke, but Alex dropped his eyes to the table. “Thank you.” 

“You don't need to thank me.” John's hand was across the table again and this time Alex took it, lifting his gaze to meet John’s and nearly suffocating in the affection he saw there. It hadn't quite sunk in, everything about their relationship, until that moment. It really hit him in the next. 

“I love you.” 

Alex stopped breathing for half a second, looking at John with something one could only categorize as confusion, maybe a tinge of fear, but ultimately not the look you want someone to give you immediately after you tell them you love them. His stomach churned, and he said nothing.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rest of the dinner went by in an awkward, thick silence. 
> 
> Alex never responded to John’s confession. 
> 
> John didn’t know what to do. 
> 
> So neither of them did anything, besides, of course, keep their heads down and avoid eye contact.

The rest of the dinner went by in an awkward, thick silence. 

Alex never responded to John’s confession. 

John didn’t know what to do. 

So neither of them did anything, besides, of course, keep their heads down and avoid eye contact. 

So much for the nice date night John had planned. So much for using this as an excuse to confess. So much for that feigning image of happiness, marital bliss and ultimate contentment, because now? Now their illusion was fading, and fast. Now their picture perfect reality was completely shattering, and their guise was finally just that. An obvious fake. An obvious lie. 

John thought back for a moment on that damage. How could all of this hurt come from ‘I love you’? Why was that such a loaded phrase? 

Three little words. Three short syllables. Eight letters. Six vowels, two consonants. “I love you.” Love, an emotion John hadn’t put much weight behind since his last romantic falling out. Love, an emotion that absolutely made his heart swell, sing and dance, skip around, throw fucking flower petals into the air and scream from the rooftops a proclamation in it’s own language, one that no human mind could ever match, not even the minds of the greatest poets the world had ever seen. A language that was unfathomable by mere men, but felt by them all.

Love. The only thing he felt in the mornings when he saw Alex shuffle out of the office, well, _his bedroom_ now, really. The only thing he felt when he saw that small frame draped loosely in baggy sweats and a stolen t-shirt. The only thing he felt when he saw slow and tired hands move up to rub the sleep from black coffee dark eyes. 

Love. The only thing he felt when he came home and found Alex lounging on the couch with his laptop, typing away at some article which was weeks from being due at the _Post_ , but by god he knew Alex would be finishing it that night, and by god, he would be editing it still when John woke the next morning to go to work. 

Love. The only thing John felt when he saw Pig perching on Alex’s shoulder, nosing at his hairline and batting at the fly-aways from the messy bun, or trying to chew on the arm of his glasses. 

So how could love be a bad thing? Love was just.. Just happiness. Just being in a place where one didn’t think they could be. Love was pure, love was kind, love was all John wanted in the world. So much so that he tried to find it with Francis Kinloch before their falling out, and that did nothing but hurt. 

So how could love lead to this? 

No words were shared at dinner after John’s proclamation. Not even a glance was spared, honestly. And _fuck_ , if that didn’t hurt. Half an hour of complete silence between them, and the only other words said were “Check, please.” 

~~

The silence of the drive home weighed heavier than that in the restaurant. John felt like he was going to be sick, _knew_ he was going to be sick, and truth be told it was a goddamn _miracle_ that John could keep his thoughts straight for long enough to get them home without killing them. He kept his eyes on the road, didn’t falter long enough to even turn the radio back up. 

Their conversation on the drive there had been so nice that he turned it down to get the full effect. 

Now? 

Now this. 

God, he had fucked up. 

Finally back in the apartment, a quick pat to Pig’s head. Not even a vocalized hello to her. 

He was going to vomit. 

“John, please, can we--” 

Too late, the door was slammed behind John, and their expensive dinner found itself back again. Eyes pricked with tears that he quickly wiped away with his sleeves. He hated vomiting. Hated getting sick, hated all of this. 

His mind was racing, wouldn’t stop, _couldn’t_ stop. Alex hated him. Hated him. Hate hate hate _hate **hate**_. He kept quiet, choked out a sob as he flushed away the evidence of his illness, wiped his mouth with toilet paper and forced himself to his feet. 

Glanced at his hands, gripping the pearly white porcelain at the edge of the sink. 

Truly noticed for the first time that he wasn’t wearing a ring. 

_They had never gotten rings._

God, how fucking stupid could he be to think that this could end happily, to think that this could ever be real? It was a fucking ploy, a play for unpunished insurance fraud, a strange cry for help and a projection of his goddamn need to help every fucking person he had ever met in his goddamn life. 

Alex was dating him out of pity, or maybe out of some internalized sense of obligation, that had to be it, that was the only way that this could be real, that this _couldn’t be real_ , this never was real and this _never would be real_ \--

“John, please open the door, please, just talk to me!” He could hear Alex outside the bathroom, fist banging on the door in a rapid and frantic pattern. Why should he talk, why _would_ they talk? There was nothing to talk about, nothing there, nothing re--

Banging, again. More panicked. “John, please at least let me know that you’re okay!”

“Just go away, Alexander!”

“I just want to talk, John! Don’t push me away!” 

“Talk about _what_? The way you left me hanging or the way I made a complete ass of myself?” John snapped through the closed door, reached up to wipe his eyes and stifle a choked sob. 

Alex flinched at John’s tone, but pushed on. “Well, sort of both?” 

“Sort of both?” John responded, scoffed as he stood. He quickly dampened a washcloth and pressed it to his eyes, trying to make the redness go away before he swung the bathroom door open. “Sort of both. I thought we were at least on the same page here, Alex…” 

Alex took a step back, taking in John’s red eyes, his general state of distress. He was hit with more guilt than he had felt at the restaurant, or even on the way home. “Well… It seems that… We aren’t. I’m sorry, I didn’t realize… How serious this had gotten, I guess? I…” he trailed off, not even sure how to word what he wanted to say and unable to meet John’s eyes. 

Another scoff from John, and all the resistance he had in his body not to roll his eyes. He had always had the habit of growing bitter when he was hurt, but if there was even the chance of redemption here, he didn’t want to risk ruining that. “Yeah, I guess you didn’t.” He said softly, lips pulled into a tight frown and eyes cold. “Or maybe I’m the only one who was taking it seriously?”

“It's not-” Alex sighed, running a hand through his hair and trying to gather his thoughts, trying to push back the guilt. “It's not that I don't take this seriously, or… That I don't… Feel similarly, necessarily. I just didn't- this all moved faster than I anticipated.” 

John knit his brow a little bit and rubbed his temples, rubbed his eyes. “Necessarily?” He parroted, closing in on himself a little bit. “So I did misread it. And I moved too fast, and I fucked it up.” He couldn’t seem to get his mind off of this, couldn’t convince himself that this wasn’t entirely his fault. He was nearly going out of his way now to avoid eye contact with the other man. 

“No.” Alex felt exasperated, he couldn’t seem to get anything to come out the right way, or even get his thoughts in order. His mind was buzzing and he just wanted that look off of John’s face, he wanted John to _look_ at him. “No, if anyone misread anything it was me, I,” he shook his head. “Shit. I didn’t realize it was that serious, already, and I… I kind of, um, went out with someone. Last night, that’s why I…” he let his sentence fall off again, not even sure how he wanted to end it, and braced for John’s reaction. 

John tensed entirely, looked at him with wide eyes for a moment. “You… I.. I thought we were…” His hand raised, covered his mouth and looked at the carpet. “Okay.” His voice was barely a squeak. “Okay…” He was definitely going to be sick again. 

“I didn’t realize,” Alex repeated. He took a half step forward, thought better of it and moved back again. “It… I never thought that you could really… feel that way about me, I guess. And that other doctor- Francis- started talking to me and I… I thought one date wouldn’t hurt.” He let out a humorless laugh, “Obviously it has. I’m sorry, John.” The apology felt cheap, especially as Alex looked back up at the other man. He deserved more, which was exactly why Alex never thought he’d find himself in this situation to begin with.

Not only that, but Alex had honestly never thought John would want him, in any way. Never thought this would be more than a do-gooder doctor helping out the needy writer, even if John had wanted to try making it _real_ , he never thought they would succeed. So, yes, he went out after the other doctor’s persuasive messages. He hadn’t enjoyed it, though, because he wanted to be out with John, but had convinced himself that, no, John wouldn’t want this. But naturally, lo and behold the very next day… 

John had just closed in on himself entirely by then, took a step back the second Alex tried to get closer to him. “You went out with _Francis_?” Now he let out a soft laugh, completely broken. “You went out with _my ex_ , of all the people in Manhattan, and all you can give is some half-assed ‘whoops’?” He was just… Extremely bitter about all of this, but he couldn’t really find any fault in his logic. It fucking _hurt_. 

“Your _ex_?” Of course, this would only happen to him. Only Alexander Hamilton could manage to not just fuck up, but fuck up royally and accidentally go out with his husband’s ex. “I didn’t know he was your ex. Fuck.” 

John was sure he had told Alex about that, was sure this was just an excuse. But then again, his mind was completely fogged, and he was definitely hyperfocused on the disgusting heartache in his chest rather than any logical thought progressions at that moment. “Uh huh. Sure.” He huffed, finally wriggled his way past Alexander and stormed into the other room. He was starting to feel claustrophobic in the little bathroom, and he desperately needed some space from Alex at that moment. 

“John.” Alex reached out as he passed, but once again thought better of it and dropped his hand. He followed the man into the other room, keeping a distance, but not letting the argument drop. He had to find a way to fix this. “I seriously didn’t know, you never told me that. I’ve seen _Grey’s Anatomy_ , but I didn’t think you all seriously dated around at the hospital. Please, John, I _am_ sorry- I wouldn’t have gone out with him if I had known, that’s fucked.” 

“Yeah, that is fucked, Alex. You know why it was so fucked? Because we were _engaged_. He fucking _cheated_ on me with one of the nurses. So yeah, maybe it is fucking _Grey’s Anatomy_ , and it’s _incredibly_ fucked!” John finally whipped around and snipped, eyes cold and teary. He could tell somewhere in his mind that he was being irrational by then, but _come on_. He didn’t know how else he could have even responded to it. “We were engaged, he fucking _left me_ for a nurse, now _apparently_ he left the nurse for _my husband_. He fucking _knows_ we’re married, he was _there_ when I asked about the insurance policy! Did he instigate this? Or did you, Alex? Because either way, this is fucking sick!” 

Alex was at a loss for words, mouth agape. Well, if someone had fucking told him all of that, so much would have been avoided. “How did you expect me to know that?” It was an honest question. He understood why John was upset, but how was he supposed to have known? “You never fucking told me you had been engaged before. As far as I knew, this was the first time you had gotten close to marriage. And he definitely didn’t tell me shit.” He ran a hand over his face. _Jesus_ , how could this possibly get worse? “And… He did, he asked me out, but I didn’t know. I didn’t know any of this, I didn’t know you and him had a past and I didn’t know that this thing between us was that serious. I didn’t know fucking anything, apparently.” 

“God, that absolute fucking _asshole_.” John clenched his fists a little bit, shook his thoughts away from Francis for the time being. “You didn’t think the thing between us was serious? Really? Alex, we fucking live together. We adopted a pet together, and we both said we wanted to start treating this like an actual relationship, right? Or were you just fucking with me when you said you wanted to do that? Has this all just been some fucking game to you, Alex? String along the lonely doctor, use him for his money and insurance while you can? Until another fucking doctor comes along to whisk you away?” His voice was still bitter, icy, but above all that, he was… Well, honestly, he was hurt. His words were strained at the end, and it was hurting him even more to even think like that, but he couldn’t stop himself, he couldn’t help his mind going these awful fucking places when he was finally happy again, finally ready to move on, then the same man as before just ripped him down again. 

“ _No_ , fuck, John, that’s not…” Alex clenched his jaw, took a breath. “Marrying you wasn’t even my idea, I didn’t want t-to go to the hospital to begin with. Obviously, that’s not my fucking game plan here. I just… No, I didn’t think it would actually get that serious. I’m not… worth that, I don’t know. I didn’t think you’d actually… fucking care.” For the first time, Alex was truly at a loss for words. His mind was still racing, and he couldn’t seem to grab the right things to say, so he settled on the only thing that even seemed fitting at this point, no matter how weak it sounded, “I’m sorry.” 

“You didn’t think I would care, so you just.. You just decided ‘yeah, okay, I’ll go out with the other doctor who asked me out, since I know my _now committed_ actual-boyfriend-slash-husband just _doesn’t care about me’!_ Brilliant, Alex!” Really, at this point, John knew he needed to stop, knew he was even crossing the lines himself, but his emotions had definitely gotten the better of him, and he was getting ahead of himself… 

“Yes, that’s what happened,” Alex admitted, really only growing angrier. Mostly at himself. “I know, I fucked up! I didn’t know he was your ex-fiance, I didn’t know you actually cared that much, I fucked up, John. I’m a fuck up, that’s why-” he stopped himself. He rubbed at his eyes, cursing under his breath when he felt wetness building up behind his lids. “Fuck, I didn’t even want this fucking marriage to begin with.” 

“That’s why what--” John started, but cut himself short when the rest of the words sunk in. “Well I’m sorry it was such a damn inconvenience, Alex. I’m sorry for caring, and I’m sorry for trying. Maybe next time, I’ll just stay out of it.” He couldn’t even find the energy to snap the words, to get testy anymore. It was just flat, empty and cold. All trace of the energy from earlier, the positive before dinner and even the negative of just a few moments ago, just... Gone. He cast his gaze down, wrapped his arms around himself and leaned back against the wall. 

There it was, hanging thick in the air. As angry as John was, this was, ultimately, all his fault. He was the one who denied the annulment, he was the one who said they could use it to their favors. The one who said they should give this a try, make it real, and now it was just coming back to bite him in the ass like he should have always known that it would. He finally forced his gaze back up to Alex, tried to read whatever emotions were there, tried to read what Alex had cut himself from saying.

Alex didn’t look up. His hands were balled into fists by his side, his jaw clenched so hard it hurt, and his eyes burning from tears threatening to fall. His voice barely shook as he spoke, tone flat and cold, “You should’ve just let me fucking die.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Without turning to look at John again, Alex left, his key to the apartment on the counter, and he slammed the door behind him. 
> 
> John slumped down onto the ground, completely breaking down.
> 
> What had he done..?

All of the oxygen had been pulled from the room. John’s chest was tight, eyes wide and laser focused on Alex. 

He couldn’t believe he heard those words, but there they were running through his head, circles in his mind. Prancing, singing, _mocking_. 

_“You should’ve just let me fucking die.”_

How did someone even respond to that? 

“Alex--” 

“No, John. Apparently all I can do is fuck up, you’ve made that painfully clear. All I can do is fuck up and ruin your fucking life, so maybe you should have just let me fucking die.” The man’s tone didn’t waver in the slightest, and his gaze was sharp, sending cold chills through John’s blood. John hesitated for a short moment before reaching towards Alex, hand quivering a bit. 

“I couldn’t, I can’t--... Don’t say things like that, Alexander, please, I--”

Alex stepped back away from him, biting his lip to keep it from quivering. “You what, John? You’ve made everything obvious. You should have left me to die, you should have turned me away day one.”

“No, _please_ , I didn’t mean it, I didn’t--... Alex, I fucking meant that earlier. I meant it when I said I love you, please, just--”

“Goodnight, John.” 

Without turning to look at John again, Alex left, his key to the apartment on the counter, and he slammed the door behind him. 

John slumped down onto the ground, completely breaking down. His body shook with sobs, and he couldn’t catch his breath. 

What had he done..?

~~

Alex slammed the door to his own apartment behind him, falling onto the couch that he hadn’t seen in… Fuck, weeks? He had spent so much time with John, and John’s couch was so much more comfortable. He slammed his fist against the cushion, a puff of dust filling the air around his hand. 

“Fuck.” He squeezed his eyes shut, rubbing at them as if that would stop the tears that were building up and blurring his vision. He should have seen this coming, he did manage to screw up most good things given to him. After everything he worked for, he finally reached a point in his life where things felt good, and then… It was over. 

John’s confession had caught him off-guard, things had moved faster than he had expected. It wasn’t that he didn’t care about John, because he did. He cared about him so damn much, but… He couldn’t imagine John feeling the same way, not this quickly. 

He definitely couldn’t after this. 

The date with Francis didn’t even mean anything. Alex couldn’t even figure why he had said yes, other than Francis wearing him down. He was cute, and charming--but he wasn’t John. It wasn’t even that great of a date, Alex wasn’t even sure it technically qualified as a date. 

“Was it worth it, dumbass?” He hissed, answering himself that no, it wasn’t. He should have… Paid more attention, he should have been smarter about this. He should have _realized_ how serious things were getting, and how John felt. Once he thought about it, it wasn’t that hard to figure out, hindsight was 20/20. 

They were living together, having dinner together, and talking about anything. All of that domestic shit that they had fallen into, that was love. Love that Alex had ignored, and not recognized until it smacked him in the face and he fucked it all up. 

He meant what he had said. John should have let him die, because he didn’t deserve any of John’s kindness, or any of his love. All he had done was hurt someone that cared about him, and that hurt Alex more than the nails digging into his palms as he clenched his fists. 

He hurt John, who had shown him nothing but kindness, and love. 

He hated himself for it. 

~~

Starting over without Alex was incredibly difficult. John didn’t realize just how reliant the pair had really become on one another. The first night didn’t really go anywhere, John stayed right where he was, slumped down on the floor crying. At some point, Pig came in and meowed, convinced John to unfurl enough to allow the little fluff into his lap. They remained that way for the majority of the night, until John willed himself off of the floor and onto the sofa, where he drifted into a short lived and dreamless sleep. 

His shift at the hospital the next day honestly felt like it would never end. The first thing he did was go into the HR office and request a change in days, wanting to do his goddamn best to never have to see Francis again. After all the trouble that asshole had caused, and the second, third, _fourth_ chances he had tried to give, this was the last straw. 

So, naturally, the first person he saw upon leaving HR was the man of the hour. 

“John, hey, you look like you got hit by a bus. The hell happened to you?”

John tensed completely, fists clenched down by his side. “Listen, I would rather be hit by a bus than be here with you right now. Fuck off, Francis.” John spat, trying to shove past the other doctor to get back to his station. 

“Woah, woah. What the fuck, Laurens? Where’s the fire, what the hell is your problem?” Francis put his hand out, catching John and pushing against his chest to keep him in place. 

Naturally, that just got John even more riled up. “Don’t fucking touch me, Kinloch. Leave me alone.” He spat, smacking the taller man’s hand away and puffing up defensively. 

“Listen, if you’re going to be a bitch, you can at least tell me what I did and make this a fair fight.” Francis snipped, frowning and crossing his arms. 

John nearly growled, eyes narrowing into slits. “Seriously? You know exactly what the fuck you did, now get out of my way and let me get back to my station.” 

“I’ll get out of your way when you tell me what the hell is going on with you. I thought we were cool, John. What the hell?” 

“You know damn well what you did, going after my husband!” He hissed, eyes narrowed. “I didn’t think even _you_ could get that low, isn’t it enough that you broke my heart once, you have to go and do it again? Is it just your ultimate fucking purpose to ruin my life?” John spat, puffing up and seeming to rear back, getting ready to swing. 

“Oh, you were actually taking that seriously? I thought it was just insurance fraud.” The other man scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest. “Alexander seemed to think it was, at least. You know, it’s really a shame for you that it’s fake between you, because he’s really--” 

And that was it. 

John swung as hard as he could, fist colliding with Francis’ jaw and filling the off-white hallway with a gut-wrenching _crack_. 

Before John knew what was happening anymore, he was dragged into the HR office again, watching faintly as a few nurses ran up to help out that slimy bastard. Watched as he was yelled at, not registering anything that was said to him, barely registering the drive home.

When he finally came back to himself, he was already home and curled on his couch with a letter in hand and a cat in his lap. 

Suspended without pay for a week. 

A faint voice flitted through his mind, _”You’ll be lucky if he doesn’t press charges, Laurens.”_

How could this week get any worse?

~~

Alex may have spiraled. His self-hatred over hurting John, at first, turned into non-stop writing for the _Post_. He was getting months ahead of himself, despite knowing that he would end up re-doing the articles because news changed every day. He just needed to do something, needed his mind to focus on something other than the memory of John’s pale, tear-stained face. And that worked, for a few days. 

Until it wasn’t working anymore, and his mind would wander in the middle of a sentence back to that fight with John. Back to wishing that John had never helped him to begin with, and that just sent him spiraling again. 

Which is how Alex found himself back at his usual bar, drinking more than he had in awhile. And how he found himself face to face with Jefferson, once again. 

“Long time, no see, Hamilton,” Jefferson’s drawl was obviously exaggerated and it got on Alex’s nerves even more than usual. “I thought you were done showing your face around here.” 

“Fuck off, Thomas.” 

“That’s no way to greet an old friend.” Jefferson took the seat next to Alex. “Heard you got hitched, who’s the unlucky fellow?” 

Alex’s fist tightened around his glass. The last person he wanted to discuss right now was John, and the last person he wanted to discuss John with was Thomas Jefferson. 

“You heard wrong.” Alex spoke through gritted teeth, jaw clenched as tightly as his fist. He was drunk, he was depressed, and he was not in the mood for Thomas’ shit. 

“I never hear wrong,” Thomas continued, leaning into Alex. “That’s why I always get the best stories, but a little birdie told me--” 

Thomas didn’t finish his sentence. Alex tossed his glass in his rage, sending it flying and crashing to the floor in a splatter of glass, before throwing his fist in the general direction of Thomas’ face, not even caring where he landed a hit. Turned out to be a good punch, and landed right on Thomas’ nose. He felt the bone crack beneath his knuckles, which he was sure he bruised in the process. 

Thomas got in a punch of his own, but before he could do anything else, Alex was thrown onto the street with a busted lip, bruised knuckles, and little to no dignity. 

He walked himself home, letting the cool air sober him up and pressing the hem of his shirt against his lip to stop the bleeding. He didn’t necessarily regret punching Thomas, but he could have used another drink. As usual, he had to fuck something up and get himself kicked out.

He stood in front of his apartment, trying to remember if he had anything in his own first aid kit. Just one door over, John’s apartment seemed inviting. Not only would there be actual medical assistance behind that door, but so would John. And Pig. And the pieces of the life they had started to build together before Alex shattered it just like he shattered that glass back at the bar--shit, they were definitely going to bill him for that. 

Before he could think better of it, he walked down the hall and knocked on John’s door. It was well past midnight, but it didn’t take long before the other man answered, taken aback by the state of Alex’s face. He shouldn’t have been surprised, really. 

“Alex?” 

“You’re a doctor, right?” Alex said, recalling the first night he had come to John after a fight with Jefferson. A smile played at the corner of John’s lips. He nodded, stepping back and holding the door open for Alex. 

“Come in.”


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Pig finally settled in Alex’s arms, John nudged the shorter man and pointed towards the bathroom. “Come on, human trainwreck. Wanna tell me about it?”

There was no way in hell that Alex or John would say that things were back to normal, especially not right off the bat, but everything did start falling back to normalcy almost instantly. Pig started meowing and trying desperately to get Alex’s attention the moment he stepped in the doorway. 

Every bit of tension that the mood held was quickly dropped, both men smiled as Alex crouched, careful not to further hurt himself, and he picked up the little cat. He held his hand out so she would bump against it instead of his chin or jawline, just to make sure she didn’t exacerbate the wounds before John could patch him up. 

John glanced at the sight and smiled warmly, eyes shining just a little bit. The pain in his chest was still there, but now… Now he felt right. Now his apartment felt like a home again. 

When Pig finally settled in Alex’s arms, John nudged the shorter man and pointed towards the bathroom. “Come on, human trainwreck. Wanna tell me about it?” 

Alex nodded a little bit and sucked in his breath. John could tell that he was in for a wild ride now, just based on that spark in Alex’s eyes. “Take a wild guess.” 

“Christ, Jefferson _again_?” He laughed a little bit as he rifled under the sink for his first aid kit. He hadn’t needed it in some time, since one of the nurses cleaned up his knuckles at the hospital. 

“Yes! That smug asshole comes up to me in the bar looking to start something, and he immediately goes for the low-blow and starts going after you! Absolutely no class with this jackass!” 

John could tell Alex was doing his best not to start gesturing aggressively, if only not to disturb the little fluff in his lap. That warmed John’s heart just a bit, and he let out a soft laugh at the sight. As if she knew, Pig got up and wriggled her way onto Alex’s shoulders, just so he could begin to gesture along with his words. She purred and bumped her head against Alex’s cheek, luckily far enough away to not cause him any pain. He smiled and rubbed his cheek against her, cooing softly before stilling himself while John cleaned his wounds. 

“So you decided to get in another fight?” John finally asked, bit his own lip and knit his brow a little bit. 

Alex huffed just a little bit and shrugged his shoulder, the one Pig currently wasn’t perched on. “I mean... He started it.”

“And you’re five?” John retorted with a raised brow, a playful little smile. Alex whined softly and nudged at him, pouted his injured lip. 

“No, I just hate him.” 

“You really aren’t helping your case here, Alex…” John murmured and rolled his eyes, finished patching up the wound. “Now, um… Do you want to--”

“I want to talk, about... About everything.” He interrupted, giving a little, hopeful smile. “I want to fix this, if you’ll let me.” 

Now, admittedly, this wasn’t what John had intended, he was honestly just going to ask if Alex wanted to stay in the office again tonight, but he would definitely take this. “Alright. I… I think I would like that very much…” He nodded his head and bit his lip. “Should we…?” He gestured vaguely to the living room, and Alex nodded. 

Once the smaller man had carefully lowered himself from the counter, doing everything in his power not to disturb the cat, he made his way out and curled up in his spot on the sofa, nearly groaning at how comfortable it was. Much better than his own furniture, that was for sure. 

John took a moment longer to join, wandering into the kitchen to get himself a drink. He didn’t even hesitate to bring one out for Alex as well, making them each a cup of tea--too much sugar in his own and too much cream in Alex’s. 

When he returned to the living room, Pig had moved to sit beside Alex, stretching out to touch Alex and John both one they were both comfortably seated. John handed the other mug to Alex, along with a straw so he wouldn’t hurt his lip any further. 

“Thank you. So, mm…” John bit his lip, stirred his tea and gave a small smile. 

“So…” Alex sucked in a deep breath and let his eyes drop. “I was thinking. About what happened between the two of us, and…” He bit his lip, then he was off. “Francis was a mistake. Francis didn’t mean shit to me. The date was complete shit, and when he kissed me when he dropped me off, it felt like I was being smothered by a soggy paper towel.” He was interrupted with a soft laugh from John, who gestured for him to continue as he gave a soft apology. “Anyway. I know I shouldn’t have done what I did, and it was… It was _really_ fucking stupid, and I’m really sorry for that. 

“I had a lapse of judgement, a really _bad_ lapse of judgement. I didn’t think that you could actually… _Want_ me, you know? It didn’t seem…. Real? I guess? I don’t know?” He dragged his hands over his face and sucked in another breath, rubbed his eyes. “I never thought somebody like you would actually like.. Be _into_ someone like me? You’re… You’re fucking _amazing_ , John, and I’m… Well… _Me_. So I thought that it was all still fake, I thought that you wouldn’t actually ever like me, and I know that doesn’t mean _shit_ because it’s still _super_ fucked up what I did, so I understand if you don’t forgive me. 

“Anyway, I… I’m just really sorry for what I did, I didn’t mean to hurt you the way that I did, and I can’t forgive myself for this at all. I never meant to hurt you, and I see now how stupid and completely inconsiderate that was. And I’m even more sorry for the way I did it and for what I said, the whole… You know.. It was stupid, uncalled for, and you don’t need that pressure on your back, or for me to be spitting nasty comments like that at you. You deserve so much, and I wish so badly that I could give all of that to you, but I don’t even know--.... I don’t know what I can do to prove to you that I want to do that, but I _do_ want to do that, because you’re just so fucking amazing, and I… I just…” 

Alex shifted and knit his brow, glanced back over to him. “I want to do this. I really want to do this.” He shifted and took both of John’s hands, squeezed them and knit his brow. “I want to do this again, and completely seriously this time, because… _Fuck,_ I care about you so much, John, and I know I _absolutely_ don’t deserve you, but I want you so badly, and I… God, John, I… _I love you so much_ that it _hurts_ , and I can’t handle knowing that I hurt you like this. You deserve the entire world, and I want to be able to give that to you more than anything, but I--” 

Alex gasped, cut off suddenly by a sweet kiss and John’s hands in his hair. He was being as careful as he could, resisting anything more aggressive just so he wouldn’t hurt Alex’s injury. 

“God, you’re an idiot. I forgive you, Alex. And we can try again. I love you, too.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ” John sat his things by the door, noticing something was off when he wasn’t greeted by Pig or Alex when he came in.

Alex was happy to be spending time with John and Pig again, and he was more than happy that John was giving him another chance. He was determined not to ruin it this time, to take everything seriously because he loved John and, for some reason, John loved him as well.

On the bright side, being with John meant that he wasn’t at the bar with Jefferson getting into more fights, which meant John was patching him up significantly less. Less, but not never. He was still a klutz and had his fair share of scrapes and bruises. John had been sworn to secrecy after one particularly embarrassing fall that landed him in a wrist brace, he claimed he tripped down the stairs but in truth he had tripped over one of his own shoes walking through the kitchen to feed Pig. Pig had licked at his face while he laid there, accepting his fate of possible death on the kitchen floor, until John rushed in and took care of him.

That was nice, John taking care of him. John caring about him. And caring about John.

Though, sometimes things were still a little… bumpy. Sometimes there were those small traces of their fight, sometimes Alex would remember what he had done or said and feel entirely unworthy of John’s arm around his shoulders or of the kisses John would press into his skin. Things were getting better, in some aspects, but in other ways they were still stuck in that weird post-fight limbo where Alex had gone on a date with Francis and told John that he should have died.

It felt like they were trying to close a gap, but that gap was never ending. Like Zeno’s paradox, they’d move halfway but there was still halfway more, they were never quite meeting.

Alex stretched out across the couch, working on his laptop. He had gotten home a little earlier than usual, and decided to use that time to catch on some work—or rather, to get ahead on some work, as he was all caught up. Pig curled up on the back of the couch, snoozing with soft snores that Alex still found absolutely adorable.

Until suddenly, she wasn’t. The kitten got up quickly, jumping across Alex’s chest to get to the ground, where she began making small coughing sounds. Alex sat his laptop aside, alarmed, and knelt down next to the kitten just as she threw up on the carpet.

“Oh, Pig.” He stroked her back gently, scooping her into his arms once it seemed that she was done, and sat her back on the couch. He had never owned a cat before, and he wasn’t quite sure what to make of her getting sick. Maybe something just didn’t sit right in her stomach? He grabbed some paper towels from the kitchen to clean it up, moving faster when he heard her making that same coughing sound again and finding that she had gotten sick again on the couch.

“What’s going on, little girl?” He asked, as if the cat could answer. She let out a weak meow in response, curling up on the corner of the cushion.

Alex cleaned up after her, even using some of that fancy fabric and carpet cleaner John had stowed away under the sink. He knelt in front of the couch, reaching across the cushion to pet Pig’s head gently and take in her current state.

She didn’t open her eyes or press her head into his hand like she usually did, but simply laid there, mouth open as she panted gently. Her nose was extremely wet, almost as if it were running, and she seemed tired. Alex felt panic shoot through him, was she sick?

By the time John got home, Pig had gotten sick two more times, and Alex was trying to get her to drink some water. He didn’t know how easily cats could get dehydrated, but he figured it couldn’t hurt. He had brought the water dish over to the couch, hoping it would encourage her to drink.

“What’s going on?” John sat his things by the door, noticing something was off when he wasn’t greeted by Pig or Alex when he came in.

“Pig’s sick.” Alex looked up at John, fear clear in his expression. “She’s gotten sick, she isn’t eating or drinking, and she’s sneezing a lot. Her nose is running, I didn’t know cats’ noses could run? I don’t know what’s wrong with her, but she hasn’t moved from this spot unless it was to, thankfully, get off the couch to puke. She did puke on the couch once, but I cleaned it, don’t worry. John, what’s wrong with her? Is she going to be okay?” 

John knelt next to Alex, putting a hand on the man’s shoulder. “Calm down, Alex. She’ll be fine.” He looked down at the kitten as she started sneezing again. “Probably.” 

“Should we take her to a vet?” 

“That’s not a bad idea.” 

~~

They couldn’t help but be nervous as they made their way to the vet’s office, and sat in the waiting room, Pig curled up on John’s lap. They were called back, their nerves only getting worse as the vet examined the little kitten. 

“You said she’s gotten sick?” 

“Yes,” Alex said. “Four times.” 

“Is she going to be okay?” John took Alex’s hand as he asked, both of them afraid of the answer. 

The vet looked up at the two of them, smiling a little as he stroked the cat’s back. “She’s going to be fine. It seems she has an upper respiratory infection, not uncommon, it’s like a little kitten cold. It may be making her stomach upset, which explains why she’s getting sick.” 

Alex and John both let out huge sighs of relief, and listened as the doctor continued to explain how to care for her until she was better. Alex gathered the kitten up in his arms, looking up at John, smiling. 

“She’s okay.” 

“She’s okay.” John repeated, kissed Alex’s forehead as they were ushered out of the room. 

And for that moment, it felt like they had finally beaten the paradox. There was no more ‘halfway’ to go. Alex hoped that feeling would last, at least a little longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey y'all, this chapter actually belongs to Pip, but she's having some wifi issues right now, so here i am instead. <3 
> 
> -krys


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex came bursting in the apartment on John’s day off, eyes bright and smile glowing to match. “John! My lease is up!”

It took some time, as was expected, but the day had finally come. 

Alex came bursting in the apartment on John’s day off, eyes bright and smile glowing to match. “John! My lease is up!” 

“Wow, I can easily say I’ve never seen someone so excited about their lease expiring.” John chuckled, caught his hand as he raced by the couch, then pulled him into a soft kiss. All the energy seemed to drain from Alex with the simple touch, and he pressed a little closer to John, content to sit there as long as his boyfriend would allow it. His heart still fluttered and skipped beats when he thought about that. 

John was _his boyfriend_. It was all _real_ now, the marriage actually…. It actually _meant_ something now. Wow. 

He smiled a little bit against John’s lips, settled carefully down onto his lap. John wrapped his arms around Alex, smiling bright back at him, and before he knew it, Pig had situated herself on Alex’s lap with her paws up on John’s chest, head bumping each of their chins so she could get kisses of her own. 

Of course, both of them eagerly complied to the demands of their fur baby, who settled herself into a little ball and purred after. 

With that distraction out of the way, it was back to the matter at hand. “So... “ John hummed, hands trailing up and down Alex’s back slowly. “Your lease is actually up, huh?”

“Yeah, finally…” He murmured, forehead pressed gently against John’s. “So…” 

“So…” John urged, smiled and kissed him again. “Are you planning to renew?” 

“Well, that’s… I was wondering… I know it’s been a while, but if the offer is still there, I… I wouldn’t be opposed to…”

“You wanna live together?” John asked, eyes shimmering a little bit. “We could absolutely…. I would love that.” He muttered and squeezed his hip a little. “I can go see how to add you to my lease? We could definitely work something out… Do you.. Do you want to share the master room with me or in the--”

“No, no. Definitely with you. I definitely wanna stay in the same room, if you’re comfortable--”

“Absolutely. God, yeah. Please. I’d love that. And I think Pig would too.” He grinned, looking down at the little kitten, who purred and pawed at Alex’s chest, perched up on her hind legs to bump against Alex’s jaw. 

“Then let’s do this.”

~~

It took a little while to actually figure out the logistics of it, but soon enough Alex was written onto John’s lease and had moved all of his stuff into John’s apartment. They were both thankful for the small distance between the two apartments to begin with, it made the moving process much easier, and once Lafayette got involved, everything seemed to get done much more rapidly. 

When they both settled onto the sofa, exhausted from running back and forth, upstairs and downstairs, room to room, everything just felt, well… 

Oh. 

Right. It was real now. 

John shifted his gaze to Alexander, watching him with a stupidly giddy smile. “Can you believe this is happening?” He asked, a breathless laugh slipping out with his words. 

Alex glanced over his shoulder, an equally goofy look on his face. “You know, I can’t even lie--it just… It feels right.” He chuckled softly and repositioned himself, nosing at John’s cheek delicately before he gave him a sweet kiss. 

When they broke apart, John could tell that Alex was definitely over-thinking something, so John cupped his cheek and cocked his head. “What’s wrong?” He asked, brows furrowed just a little bit. 

“Nothing, I just… Thank you for giving me another chance, John. I really don’t deserve you, I… God, I never thought I could be this happy, and you’ve just… You’ve made everything so much better. I appreciate you so much more than I even know how to say.” He murmured, looked up with a sweet smile now, eyes full of adoration. 

“Alex…” John smiled sweetly and kissed him again. “You don’t need to thank me for that. I love you so much…” He murmured, nosing at his cheek a little bit before he kissed him one more time. 

Everything felt right in the world, with the kitten at their side and Alex pressed close, John didn’t think he could be this happy. 

~~

And as soon as he thought about that, well, the opportunity reared itself around for him to become even happier. The day didn’t start any way that it should have for him to have that revelation, but really, did it ever seem to work out that way for John?

He and Alex were out wandering about a month after Alex had moved himself permanently into the other apartment, into their home, and they were letting Pig wander aimlessly on her leash as they strolled about Central Park. Everything was going well, it was a lovely day, albeit a bit chilly (thus Alex absolutely _insisted_ that they put Pig in her little booties and sweater, “lest our baby get another kitty cold”), and they decided to make the most of the time that they both had to themselves on both of their day off. 

John had bought hot cocoa for each of them, and Alex supplied a few sugar cookies and biscotti for their journey, and they were out on their way, talking about life, work, and most importantly, the future. 

“I can’t even begin to say how awesome it is that we’re back together, my brain just… I can’t find the right words, John. But it’s like…” Alexander Hamilton at a loss for words was something that John had come to savor. He loved watch his partner try and formulate the proper thoughts, try to figure out everything that he needed to say and the right words to go with it. “It’s just… I… I don’t know, I just… Thank you. Thank you so much, John. I’ve been wanting to ask for a while, but this just… It seems right, now, you know, and--”

Of course, his thought would be interrupted in that moment, when someone neither man wanted to deal with came jogging up along the path, headphones in but eyes wandering. When they caught the couple, he slowed to a stop and pulled out his earbuds. “Well, fancy seeing you out and about.”

John’s demeanor immediately tensed up, and he moved closer to Alex. As if on cue, Pig hurried back to her daddies, tucking herself in the space between them and looking up at the strange man. Alex’s entire body went rigid. 

“Look at this, you’ve built yourself a little family,” Francis crossed his arms, taking in the full sight of John, Alex, and Pig. Pig, feeling the tension coming off of John and Alex, curled her back, hair standing on end and eyes focused on the man causing the tension. 

“What are you doing here, Francis?” John asked, teeth clenched. He tried to step in front of the other two, as if just blocking Francis’ view of them would protect them from whatever shit he was about to spew. 

“Last I checked it’s a public park, Laurens.” Francis said, shit-eating grin spread across his face. “You and your tax benefits made up, I see.” Alex’s fists clenched at his sides. Not only was Francis being a fucking nuisance, he was ruining what was supposed to be a beautiful, memorable moment. 

“That’s a shame,” the shit stain continued, craning his neck to look at Alex, still mostly behind John. “We could’ve been something special, Alexander.” He threw him a wink, and John raised his arm as if he were about to deck the guy again. Alex grabbed him, stopped him, and stepped around him. 

“Doubtful, the only thing special about you is your uncanny ability to always be a pain in our asses.” 

Francis’ grin only got wider at that, “Oh, I could give you a pain in the ass.” 

That was the last straw. Alex was already annoyed as hell that Francis had interrupted their day, if he was going to try to hit on him he could have at least chosen a better fucking line. Alex swung his fist, hitting Francis square in the nose, hearing the crack as it broke from the force of the hit. 

“ _Shit_.” Alex shook his hand, sure that he had bruised some bones from the punch, but turned back to John as if nothing had happened. “Anyway, as I was saying-” 

“What the _fuck_ ,” Francis cried, grabbing his face. John was at a loss, looking between the two as Alex continued to ignore Francis’ pain and presence. 

“John,” Alex continued. “Being with you… it’s amazing. And if I don’t do this now, who knows how long it’ll take me to find a better moment.” He finally did glance back at Francis, who was now trying to collect himself and shuffling away from the couple, and shrugged a shoulder. “Well, it _was_ a perfect moment. But, John Laurens,” Alex dropped to one knee, grabbing one of John’s hands. “Will you… re-marry me?”


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waking up in John’s arms was like an otherworldly experience to Alex.

Waking up in John’s arms was like an otherworldly experience to Alex. He could feel Pig somewhere above their heads, her tail flicking gently against his nose and a warm weight on the pillow. And if he turned over, he was face to face with that soft smile he had fallen in love with and sleepy eyes he could get used to greeting every morning. 

“Mornin’.” John’s voice was thick with sleep and Alex would have felt weak in the knees had he been standing. Instead of saying anything, he leaned in and kissed him. Because he could do that, and it was okay, and John kissed him back and they could spend the morning sharing slow, lazy kisses until they finally felt like getting out of bed. 

Which they eventually did. John took to making breakfast, a couple omelets with toast, while Alex started on the coffee. They moved through the kitchen together so perfectly, like a well-rehearsed dance, stopping every so often to share a look or a kiss, or to pick Pig up and nuzzle her furry little head. Until they finally fell into chairs across from each other at the table, giving each other the most disgustingly adorable grins as they ate. 

“Laf texted me last night,” John finally said something of vague importance, tearing at his toast. “He wanted to know if we would double with him, now that we’re together.”

“With him and Herc?” Alex scrunched his nose. “Gross, they’re, like, an old married couple.” 

“Alex, we’re literally a married couple.” John pointed out. Alex frowned. 

“Shit, yeah, you’re right.” He shrugged and took another bite of his omelet. “There goes my one excuse.” 

And that's how they found themselves sitting across from Lafayette and Hercules in a small booth at a restaurant a few blocks from their apartment. Lafayette looked stunning as usual, his curls pulled back and body squeezed into what Alex guessed was a very tight adult onesie? It was dressed up with a bright pink belt around his waist and a jacket to match, meanwhile Hercules, Alex, and John were all dressed much more low key. Lafayette rolled his eyes at this. 

“Remind me never to take you all to somewhere nicer than a rib joint.” He muttered as they all slid into the booth. 

“How's the married life treating you?” Hercules asked. Alex leaned into John in response, smiling to himself. 

“It's alright,” John said. Alex nudged him and John laughed. “Okay, okay, _fine_ , god, Alex.” He rolled his eyes and nudged him back, smiling bright. “It’s been fantastic, honestly.” 

Alex nodded, eager to contribute. “It’s awesome. We’ve actually been considering--” 

“Do we want to tell them yet?” John interrupted. 

Alex knit his brow and thought for a moment. “I… Don’t see why not?” He responded, head cocked in contemplation. “Shouldn’t we, I mean they were there--” 

“--Right, yeah, and they would abso--”

“--Absolutely want to help with it, right--”

“--But won’t it get a little--”

“--No, no, it’ll be fine, you just have to--”

“--Right, yeah, you’re right--”

Before this back and forth could go on any longer, Herc interrupted with a loud laugh knocked his fist lightly against both of their shoulders to jar them out of it. “ _Christ_ , you _are_ married.” He grinned. “Just spit it out, good lord. We’re your friends, we want to know and help out if you’ll let us. Quit with this cryptic old-married-couple bullshit, guys.” He rolled his eyes, but kept that endearing and playful smile about him. 

John and Alex shared another glance, then nodded, speaking together; “We’re thinking about getting remarried.” 

“The right way this time,” John supplied. 

“Legit ceremony!” Alex added. 

“Technically, since you never got divorced, it would just be renewing your vows,” Lafayette cut in, reaching beneath the table. “Which you two should definitely do, as your original vows weren’t exactly anything romantic, so I’m glad you brought it up because” -- he pulled out a large binder, placing it on the table between the four of them-- “I’ve already got it all planned out.” 

Alex and John both looked at him, dumbfounded, speaking at the same time, “You what?” 

“Well, after I accidentally jinxed you and you had that huge fight… I thought I should do something to make it up to you. Maybe I could bless your marriage instead, so I started planning a ceremony after you two made up.” 

“You’ve been planning this for the past _six months_?” John asked, honestly impressed as he and Alex started to flip through the binder. Lafayette had everything planned down to their tuxes, the song for their first dance, even the location…

“Are you serious?” Alex’s brows shot into his hairline as he looked over the picture of the familiar location, definitely not somewhere he’d ever thought to have a wedding ceremony.

“Oui,” Lafayette grinned. “It is a beautiful view, you’ll love it. And now that you two are on board, I believe we can set a date - I did leave that up to you, but I think we could pull this all together in… say, two months? Maybe a month and a half if we really push it... But I already have the Save the Date cards, and a guest list, which you’re free to look over to make any adjustments.” 

“And I made a vest for Pig so she can hold the rings!” Hercules interjected, obviously delighted with his own news. Alex and John were delighted, too, and it sounded like they were trying to out do each other as they cooed over the idea of their fur baby being part of their ceremony. 

“That’s so adorable.” John said, while Alex was tearing up at the thought and acting like he was not tearing up at the thought. 

“This is going to be amazing.” He said, staring dreamily into space and resting his head on John’s shoulder. Hercules made a mock-gagging noise, but smiled at the couple’s sickening cuteness. 

“Of course, we’ll need to figure out the wedding party,” Lafayette brought their attention back to the binder, open to a blank page. “I expect to be someone’s best man, and I assume it is okay for Hercules to perform the ceremony again.” 

John and Alex nodded. Wedding talk paused just long enough for them to order, and they spent the rest of their meal discussing all of the details. The date, the best men and the matrons of honor, who all they should and shouldn’t invite. By the end of the night, Lafayette was ready to send out the Save the Dates and book the location. 

John and Alex were just eager for the ceremony, ready to officially make this real. Have a real ceremony with all of their friends. 

It was going to be amazing.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “God, I can't believe I get to marry him… _again_. Isn't that amazing?"

Despite Laf’s insistence that he could get everything done in the span of a month and a half, John convinced him that they could wait, and that two months would be just fine. This put their wedding right towards the end of March, on what turned out to be a gorgeous and sunny day, just enough of a breeze that it was comfortable. Hercules had made their suits, being the man of many talents that he was, and Laf had done all of the wedding planning and venue decorating himself. 

The day was upon them now, and John could feel his heart thumping into his throat. He bit his lip and knit his brow, staring at his reflection for just a bit and fiddling with his tie. He hadn’t been able to see Alex at all that day--He had stayed with Hercules and Pig in the apartment, while John stayed the night with Lafayette. Alex, for some reason, was all about the strangest little traditions. But John thought better than to question this, did whatever would make his love happy. 

Besides, he couldn’t deny the excitement he held now to see his soon-to-be-actual-husband. 

Lafayette rubbed his back gently and gave him a small smile. “Are you ready, bijou?” He asked softly, took and squeezed John’s slightly shaky hand. 

“Yeah, yeah. I…. I think I am?” He said softly and sucked in a breath. “I know I’ve said it like fifty times, but that still doesn’t feel like it’s enough.” He turned to face the other man completely, hugged him tight. “Thank you so much for planning all of this. Honestly, thank you so much for everything that you’ve done for me, for us. It means the world.” He murmured softly. 

Laf grinned brighter and kissed each of John’s cheeks. “Do not worry about it, my friend. I would do anything for the two of you. Thank you for _letting_ me.” He chuckled. “Now come, we must finish. Your husband is waiting.”

~~

“I don't think I've ever had a suit fit this well.” Alex turned back and forth, checking himself out in a full length mirror, attempting to see all angles. He looked damn good, as he should. 

“That's because this is the first time you've actually let me make your suit.” Hercules watched him, pleased with his work and even more pleased with how much Alex liked it. 

“You alter my shit all the time.”

“I can only do so much.”

“Oh my god,” Alex turned to Herc, eyes wide, as if he'd just had an Earth-shattering realization. “Can you imagine how good John's gonna look?”

“I know how good John looks,” Herc pointed out. 

“Don't tell me, don't tell me.” Alex turned back to look at himself. “God, I can't believe I get to marry him… _again_. Isn't that amazing? Oh, Pig!”

The cat in question had just started rubbing up against Alex's legs, and Hercules nearly had a heart attack as he dived for the animal. 

“No, no, the only tux getting cat fur all over it pre-ceremony is mine.” He looked back up to see Alex's pout and gave in, holding Pig out. “Fine, say hi but then say your goodbyes because I need to go get her ready, too.” 

Alex leaned forward, letting Pig bump her face against his nose and cheek. Her purring grew louder as he reached out and scratched between her ears. “You be good for uncle Herc, got it, Pig? He made you something really nice for the ceremony, so no scratching, biting, or fighting.” Pig stretched to give his nose a scratchy kiss, and Hercules pulled her back, cradling her to his chest. 

“I should go get her ready, do you need anything?” Herc asked. Alex rocked back onto his heels, then onto the balls of his feet. He was anxious, the signs were obvious, and Herc was a little nervous to leave him alone.

“I'm good.” He was beaming, at least. He _was_ anxious, but it was a good anxious. “I'm great. Go, get her ready. And thank you, again. For everything.”

“No problem.” 

~~

John had never seen anything so beautiful in his life. 

When Alex joined John, nothing else mattered. The view from the highline of the Manhattan skyline was nothing compared to Alex. He seemed to be glowing, and he had never seen such a big smile on his partner’s face. That was just… _Wow_. He didn’t want to wait to kiss Alex, but he knew it would be all the better if he did. Alex took his time walking down the aisle, finally stopping in front of John and looking at the taller man as if he was the entire world. 

John’s knees would have gone weak if he wasn’t so worried about humiliating himself in front of Alex. 

He smiled and held out his hands, Alex taking both of them and leaning closer. They didn’t kiss, but instead rested their foreheads together and brushed their noses. They could hear the collective coos and awws from their friends, earning wide smiles from them both before they separated and allowed Herc to proceed with the ceremony. 

They took a moment to regain their composure when the man joined them by the glass wall, grinning brightly at how adorable little Pig looked in her vest, perched so properly on her uncle Herc’s shoulder. 

“Dearly beloved,” Herc’s booming voice filled the atrium, perfectly heard over the sound of Manhattan traffic below them. “We are gathered here today to join these men in homo matrimony-” Alex couldn’t contain the snicker that slipped free, and even John cracked a goofy smile and rolled his eyes. 

“Really, Herc?” 

“Right, right. Sorry. _Holy_ matrimony. _Again_.” Herc gave each of them a meaningful look, Pig readjusted herself on Herc’s shoulder, meowing softly at her two daddies. “Now, they’ve each prepared some vows. John, would you…?” 

“Yeah, yes.” He nodded and patted his pockets, grabbing a worn piece of paper and smoothing it out a little bit, but he ended up folding it right back up and stuffing it back into his pocket. He didn’t want to rely on the paper. It didn’t seem _right_ to rely on the paper. He sucked in a breath and bit his lip. 

“Alexander, I don’t know if I can ever find the right words for this, but after everything we’ve been through it feels wrong to just read off that sheet. Okay…” He sucked in a breath and took Alex’s hand, laced their fingers, looked into his eyes. “I love you, Alexander Hamilton, and I can’t believe that I get to spend the rest of my life with you. We’ve been through some… Well. We’ve been through a lot.” He chuckled softly and gave a sad little smile. “And after all of that, I would be lying if I said all of this wasn’t a surprise, but I really wouldn’t trade this for anything.” 

Alex smiled just a little bit and squeezed John’s hands before the other could carry on. “After everything that we went through, all the trouble and drama, I can say that I’ve never been so happy before, and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you…” He looked back to Herc, either for guidance or reassurance. When John got a smile and a nod in return, he sucked in a breath and looked back over to Alex. 

“So, I guess what I mean to say is... I promise to love you, Alexander. No matter what may come our way, no matter what the future holds for us. I promise to make you coffee in the mornings and dinner at night, I promise to make every moment we have together the best that I can. I promise that I’ll communicate better, that I’ll let you in on whatever secrets or whatever may be bothering me. I promise to treat you like the treasure that you are, and to love you for the rest of time. 

“I promise, through and through, that I love you, Alexander Hamilton, and that I can’t wait to spend the rest of our lives together.” John looked up from their laced fingers to finally meet Alex’s eyes again, a nervous smile playing at the corner of his lips. 

Alex could feel tears forming, but he swallowed the lump in his throat and squeezed John’s hands again. After John’s beautiful words, he needed just a moment to compose himself before he became a mess at the alter. 

“The first draft of my vows was nearly twenty pages, but Herc told me that was entirely too long, so I’ll give a summary.” Alex took an even breath, looking into John’s eyes. “John Laurens, I may not have realized it, but I have loved you since the day I showed up at your doorstep with a broken nose. I promise to continue loving you, through everything we may face, even when I’m annoyed by you or upset with you, I promise to love you through it all. I promise to take care of you, just like you’ve taken care of me for over a year now. I promise not to yell at you when you’re being hard-headed and stubborn, unless you really deserve it, but I promise to apologize and make it up to you if I do yell. I promise to clean Pig’s litter box, at least within a few days of you asking me to. But most of all, I promise to love and cherish you, and our time together, for the rest of our lives - and I’m excited as hell to do it.” 

John wasn’t nearly as lucky as Alex in catching himself before he could cry, but he definitely wasn’t ashamed to do it. Herc interrupted before they could steal a kiss, letting Pig meow and get their attention so she could deliver what they had been missing since the beginning. 

Alex reached out to take them, delicate hands getting hold of the two bands attached to the vest. He handed his to John, kept the other in his hand. 

Both of them were convinced that their hearts were going to explode in their chests, just stared at one another for a moment before John finally made the first move, lifting Alex’s left hand and placing a gentle kiss on his ring finger before sliding the delicate golden band into place, a tiny diamond facing upward and glimmering in the light. Alex was on the brink of tears again, his heart in his throat as the cool metal slid across his skin. He took John’s left hand, his own fingers shaky as he repeated the gesture, admiring the way the ring looked on John’s hand. Admiring the way both of their rings looked as he laced their fingers together again. 

Hercules jumped back in after giving them both a moment, unable to keep the grin off of his face as he watched them. 

“John Laurens, do you take Alexander Hamilton to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, to love and to cherish, through sickness and through health, as long as you both shall live?” 

John sucked in a slow breath and looked up at Alex. His eyes sparkled and his grin lit up the room. “I do.” 

“Alexander Hamilton, do you take John Laurens to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, to love and to cherish, through sickness and through health, as long as you both shall live?” 

Alex barely let Herc finish before blurting out, “I do.” He took a step closer to John, already anticipating the next part of the ceremony. 

“Then by the power vested in me by the authority of getordained.net, I now pronounce you…. Husband and Man? Husband and Husband? Either way. Kiss, you dorks.” 

John laughed a little and swept Alex closer into his arms, lacing their fingers again before dipping Alex down, kissing him sweet and slow. Alex let out a breathless squeak when he was dipped, laughed into the kiss and held onto John to be sure he wouldn’t fall. Their friends in attendance all cheered for them, despite the fact that the kiss lasted just a couple of seconds too long, but who could really complain?

After all, it was perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey y'all sorry for the delay. my summer classes just hit midterms and pip and i both hit writers block. 
> 
> hopefully we'll be back on track here soon 
> 
> until next time,   
> -krys


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexander never thought he would be planning a honeymoon. Let alone, a honeymoon that his spectacular, lovely, amazing, rich doctor husband would be paying for. Come on, what kind of amazing dream was he living?

Alexander never thought he would be planning a honeymoon. Let alone, a honeymoon that his spectacular, lovely, amazing, _rich doctor husband_ would be paying for. Come on, what kind of amazing dream was he living? _Wow!_

So he bit back his worries and made a list of things he always wanted to see, and as of the end of their wedding ceremony, it consisted of: 

_-Disneyland_  
-Disneyworld  
-Disney’s resort in Hawaii  
-Disneyland Paris  
-Universal Hollywood  
-Universal Orlando 

And with that all out of the way, well… John ran with it. 

Figuring that Alex had never been to the west coast, the itinerary John came up with went as so: 

_-Five days in Disneyland  
-Six days at the Hawaii Disney resort_

It seemed like a pretty good honeymoon, not too long that Alexander would get anxious being away from work, but not so short that they would feel robbed of any adventure. So John tucked away all of their passes and plane tickets and led his husband outside to the cab, Pig now safely left snuggled up with Uncle Laf while they were gone (He had promised to send photos and videos of the little angel every day, too, which was a plus).

So they made their way to Universal Hollywood first off, John eager to show this new world to Alex, since it was all a surprise for him. He knew they were going to California, but that was it. 

Alex slept through the majority of the flight, head resting on John’s shoulder, snoring gently as they went along. John felt his heart fluttering whenever he would look over to the other man, absolutely enthralled by his mere existence. He couldn’t wait to spend this time with him. 

He couldn’t wait to spend the rest of their lives together. 

_Wow, what a thought._

Spending the rest of his life with Alexander. 

_Wow._

Alexander remained mostly asleep until they finally got to the hotel room, where he was re-energized just at the sight of the giant bed, soft pillows, and fluffy blankets. The whole room was amazing, there was a large desk in the corner and a television set up in front of the bed. Alex had spent most of his life without television, but when it was an option he often found himself getting lost in the various shows as he channel surfed. Alex zipped around the room, putting their things away, while John was more dead on his feet. 

But he was more than happy to watch his husband -- his _husband_ , wow -- put their clothes away and finally collapse onto the bed next to him. The blankets were even more comfortable than they looked, John nearly fell asleep instantly. 

“Thank you.” 

Alex’s voice was soft in John’s ear, his words nearly lost as John floated somewhere between being asleep and awake. A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth, though, as he felt Alex’s arm wrap around his middle. 

“If it isn’t obvious by this point, I’m not just doing this to give you my health insurance anymore. You don’t need to thank me.” John opened his eyes, just enough to see Alex’s face inches from his, and kissed him softly.

“I do.” Alex insisted. “I fucked up, but you gave me a second chance. Thank you for that, and for believing in me. In us.” 

“I love you.” John’s only reply. He rolled into Alex, looping a leg around Alex’s and burying his face in his chest. Alex chuckled. 

“You’re going to fall asleep before we get to any of the honeymoon fun,” Alex kissed his jaw, but quickly realized it was a lost cause. 

“Plenty of honeymoon, plenty of fun,” John hummed, burrowing deeper into Alex’s embrace and quickly drifting off to sleep. He never slept better than when he fell asleep in Alex’s arms, and now he got to do that for the rest of his life. 

_Wow_. 

~~

The five days in Disneyland passed by much too quickly. The two took whatever goofy photos with cast members they could, bought every photo from every ride, overloaded themselves with souvenirs, and on their first day, got cute pins symbolizing their first shared visit and their honeymoon alike. 

John was sure to take photos of Alex at every attraction, sneaking ones when he wasn’t looking and taking photos of the other with the glow of the fireworks reflecting in his eyes. They had countless photos taken of one of them flirting with princesses and the other looking shocked, or each of them kissing one of their cheeks. 

All in all, everything about it was perfect. As John packed up the last bit of their souvenirs to ship home, Alex slumped down onto the bed and sighed. “I don’t think I’m ready to go home,” he admitted gently, looking over to his husband and pouting out his lower lip. John gave a tiny smile at that. 

“Who said we were going home yet?” 

“What do you mean?” Alex sat up again and cocked his head. He didn’t think they were doing anything else, but lo and behold, John held up another little envelope. 

“Surprise; honeymoon part two.” He grinned and handed the packet to Alex, who opened it slowly. 

He gasped, eyes blowing wide in shock as he pulled out the plane tickets. 

“You _didn’t_!” He said in hushed shock. 

“Oh, but I did.” John chuckled and sat beside his partner, nosing at him and kissing his forehead. In Alex’s hands rested two first class tickets from LAX to Hawaii, and printed information about their nearly-week-long stay at Disney Aulani resort. 

Alexander could have cried. He leaned closer and hid his face against John’s neck. “What did I ever do to deserve you?” 

John moved back enough to catch him in a soft kiss, hand cupping Alex’s cheek sweetly. “I’ve been wondering the same thing. I love you so much, Alexander…”


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was the kind of domesticity Alexander ever only dreamed of as a child, the kind of life and love he had always desired and found himself wishing for every time he saw a shooting star or tossed bottle caps into the wells or fountains.

“Are you ready?” 

Lafayette glanced between his two friends. Alex and John let out equally exasperated sighs, they had been married for three years now and it showed. They both nodded, at once. 

“Are you _sure_?” 

“Just stamp the damn papers, Laf!” Alex threw his arms out, then ran his hands through his hair as Lafayette laughed and finally stamped the papers in front of him. Alex and John gripped each other’s hands, grinning from ear to ear as Lafayette gathered up all of the papers and slipped them into a folder. 

“It’s not quite finished yet, but -” 

“But it will be, right?” John cut him off. “Soon? We… We don’t have anything more to do?”

“It will be, and no you do not.” 

“We’re _dads_.” Alex whispered. He turned to look at the couch where their foster son slept peacefully. He had one thumb in his mouth, and Alex could just scoop him up in his arms and hug him, he was so adorable. 

“We’re dads.” John responded, glancing to the side where their foster daughter was playing with blocks. It was nearing their third birthday, and John and Alex were hoping to have everything finalized and legit by that time. As it was, they had been taking care of Frances and Philip for a little over a year. It barely took six months for them to know they wanted to adopt the twins, and they started the process as soon as possible. 

Lafayette hugged the folder to his chest. “ _Oui_. You’re dads. I’m so glad I could be part of this, thank you for using my notary status for an adoption instead of a divorce.” 

“Anytime, Laf.” Alex laughed, nudging their friend’s shoulder. “Thank you for helping us out with all of this.” 

“Of course, my dear Alexander.” Lafayette leaned in to kiss each of their cheeks. “I must go now, but I will see you both later.”

As soon as Lafayette was gone, Alex threw his arms around John’s neck, hugging the man so quickly and tightly that it threw him a little off balance. John laughed softly and caught him easily, spinning the other a little bit. When Alex started laughing, Frances looked over with bright eyes and giggled as well, rising to her feet with a bit of a struggle before toddling over. 

“Papa, up!” She chirped, raising her arms up in the air and bouncing a little. 

John laughed and nodded. “Of course, sugar plum... C’mere.” He set Alex down carefully and bent over to scoop the girl into his arms, spinning her around in the air and grinning brightly as she repeatedly cooed ‘fly, fly!’

This all still seemed like a dream to Alexander, if he were to be completely honest, but he definitely wouldn’t have changed it for anything in the world. 

With the enthusiasm of his sister ringing through the room, Philip began to stir. He didn’t whine, though, not as much as he usually would. He just looked at Alex and reached his hands up in the air, clapping his fingers against his palms to request the same treatment as his sister. There was no hesitation from Alexander before he scooped the boy up, smiling as he kissed his forehead.

He stole a glance back to John and Frances, who were busy giving each other Eskimo kisses and cooing, and he felt his heart skip a beat. 

This was the kind of domesticity Alexander ever only dreamed of as a child, the kind of life and love he had always desired and found himself wishing for every time he saw a shooting star or tossed bottle caps into the wells or fountains. 

It was only a second before he was jarred back to reality by Philip placing a hand on Alex’s cheek and cocking his head. “Pops? Okay?” He asked softly, eyes twinkling a little bit in concern and curiosity both. 

Alex chuckled and nodded, kissing his forehead. “Pops is fine, little honey bee.” He cooed and rubbed their noses together as well. 

Satisfied with the answer, Philip placed a wet kiss on Alex’s cheek, then grinned, glancing back over to John and Frances. In a small voice, he peeped the same as his sister: “Fly?”

Alex smiled fondly and nodded, lifting the boy to start spinning with him as well. He squealed and put his arms up in the air, giggling madly as Alex spun him around until he finally fell back onto the sofa, the boy on top of him. 

John and Frances joined not a moment later, and the whole family cuddled up together easily, fitting together like a perfect puzzle. Alex never thought he would find this sort of happiness in his life, but as he looked at his son in his arms, his husband at his side, and their daughter curled easily on his lap, he realized how great it was. Just a moment after that, they heard a mewl and there was a fluffy little ball popping up between the twins, cuddling up. They both squealed enthusiastically and started petting Pig, who was eager to curl up with them and take all the love that she could. In that moment, Alex realized there was nowhere else in the world he would rather be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for going on this journey with us. Writing with Krys has been a dream and every comment and kudo we've received has made it that much better.  
> -Pip
> 
>  
> 
> well, here we are, y'all. thank you so so much for going on this journey with the two of us, pip and i have had so much fun working together on this fic, and the love and support you have all given us means the entire world. thank you for everything, and we're so glad that you enjoyed our fic. 
> 
> we're definitely going to collaborate again, so until next time, much love,  
> -krys


End file.
